Call It Whatever

This Heart Always Beating For You

Tul sit silently in the middle of his room, his fucking CEO room..

After returning to Bangkok, bunch of workload waiting for him...
as the heirs of the company the huge pressure put on his shoulder..

Beep..Beep, his phone vibrating..
when Tul looks the caller..
there is a lump in his throat, his aching heart beating soundly and his hand shaking..

a familiar yet stranger name
the one that he always missing so bad yet he want to avoiding at all cost

Tul ignoring the call, but the his phone vibrate repeatedly..
"you won't give up calling me hia? Huh?!, bad habbit really die hard"..

After an hours finally the caller stop his attemp, later a messages pop up in Tul phone..

" Answer my call, please"... Tul want to reply so bad but he stop himself..

"control yourself Tullie, don't you remember what happened 2 years ago, this won't work"

======

Tul toss and turning his body couldn't catch a sleep..
his mind wandering around.. he open his phone, Re-reading the messages he got today..

Suddenly his phone vibrate...
Once again a messages pop up,
Tul smile slightly "Omg hia, you really didn't change a bit even after these past year, even after the heartbreak and pain I gave you" Tul murmuring while debating whether reply or not..

Then his phone vibrate again, this time he got a voice messages..
Tul gulping down and decide to open the messages..
the first messages he receive after that fateful day..
"N' Tul, I am sorry If I bother you, but I don't know how can I reach you"... Tul hear his Hia soft breathing..

"You won't answer my call and reply my messages, to be honest I know you're back to thailand these past week and I plan to visit to your company if my messages didn't reach you"
" I am sorry if I'm too demanding, but can we at least meet to clearing thing up.. ummm, I know that now I just nobody to you, but please lets meet even only for once.. If this messages reach you please kindly reply my messages.. Good Night Nong Tul"

" Nong Tul...Nong Tul"..Tul repetead a strange word..
somehow he missing how Mew always called him Tullie, babe, my baby, my sun and bunch of other chessy pet name..

Tul feel a pang that hurt his heart, but wasn't it his decision afterall? He was the one who left Mew.. not the other around..

Tul recalled what happened on certain days two year ago..

Mew and Tul sat down silently next to each other, no word came from their mouth and the silent tension growing bigger as time passed by..

Finally it was Tul who spoke first..
"I am sorry hia, I really really love you.. but I'am sorry hia"
" I can't take it anymore".. Tears streaming down in his cheeck..

Mew knew this time will eventually came, but still couldn't accept it..
he stand up and curled down hugging Tul.. his silent tears told how broke his heart

"I love you so much, but I need to save my heart...I need to protect my family" both of them fell down on the floor, hugged tightly and clutching at each other clothes..

" Tullie listen to me, we would made this work, okay.. please..please don't leave me" Mew begging,
he pressed his face against Tul neck.. tears wetting Tul's collar

" It wouldn't work Hia, I'm so tired with this pressure.. I love you, but I can't let you destroy your future"
Mew sobbing start to louder.."

No..no..no, please Tullie.. please.. you are my future Tullie...
I see my future in your eyes,, so please stay with me".. Mew begging and crying his heart out..

Tul pulled away from the hug, wiping the tears in his eyes and cheeck..

" I really really love you, but please gave up on us"
" I love you, but let me go.. let yourself go hia"
" I am sorry, I am sorry, please forvige me hia"
Tul already stand up and ready to left their condo..

" Tullie calm down please, I am sorry if I made mistake.. forgave me, please teach me to be better" Mew rose up quickly and back hugging Tul..

" No Tullie, please.. I didn't know how to survive without you, don't gave up please"

Mew sobbing and crying mess.. he didn't care anything anymore..
the pain become so unbearable.. as if someone ripped off the heart from his chest when he wide awake..

Tul, turning his body, his hand cupped Mew cheeck..

" Hia listen to me.. I could guarante, even we're not together anymore.. ( Tul take mew hands and place it on his chest).. this heart always beating only for you"

Tul lifted up Mew chin and connecting their lips...their last kiss.. "Good bye Hia"