Call It Whatever

If Only

Today is the day when finally Mew and Tul meet again after two whole year...
After several attempt of phone calling and messaging, Tul finnaly gave up and granted Mew’s request. They decide that they will have dinner at their favorite restaurant..

Tul looks so nervous, eventhough he was the one who had left Mew..
He was the one who cut off communication and shut down Mew completely, but it doesn’t mean that he not love him anymore..

How can he move on from the love of his life..
he just simply gave up cause he knew better that their relationship wouldn’t have future, and broke up was the best choice at that time..

Tul arrive 1 hour ealier, he just sit silently in his car while his mind wandering around..
he smiling when look across the road and see Mew get out from his car..

“apparently you’re as nervous as me, Hia”..

Tul looks Mew walking toward florist across the restaurant..
his heart skip a beat..even after two year Mew still as romantic as ever..

He prepare himself and get out from the car..
from a far he looks Mew exit from florist holding beautiful white rose bouquet, Tul’s favorite flower..

Mew looks Tul standing in front of his car, he smile wide and waving his hand toward Tul..

Tul looks Mew, he smile and waving back to him..

“what a beautiful smile that I always miss” Mew whisper softly..

He hurriedly crossing the road.. walking toward the restaurant..

Tul watching his Hia make a small run toward him,
and then a horror looks in Tul’s eyes when he aware of something..

Tul run from his place and shout his lung out “Hia, watch out”

“ Baang”..

Tul feel like his heart fall into his knees when he witnessing how a car with a high speed hit Mew body..

Everything looks like a slow motion in front of Tul’s eyes, How Mew smile wide and waving hand and how Mew’s body bounce to the road after car crashing..

Tul breathing heavily while trying to calm himself, he was too stunned by the scene drawn in front of his eyes..

Tul sit in the middle of the road holding Mew tightly while waiting for the ambulance arrive..
the intial white rose turn to red soaked by Mew’s blood and the petal scatered around them..

At once, a fountain of red came from the wound in Mew’s head, ebbed and flowed in time with Tul’s terrified heart..

Tul’s hand were dyed in red, his white suit dyed in red from Mew’s blood that flowing unstopabble..

“ Hia... Hia.. stay with me hia”..

“Please hia, don’t leave me, hia..

please hia, please” Tul murmuring until his voice hoarse..

Tul looks down into Mew body, he feel that Mew breathing become weak, the color start to left his face..

“ No Hia, No.. wait a bit okay, the ambulance will cooming soon, stay with me hia”..

his tears streaming down from his eyes and fall into Mew lifeless body..

“Hia, you want sort thing out right? I will explain everything Hia, I will answer everything you want to know, but please wake up, stay with me hia”

There was never any other moment in his life that made Tul felt so regret, frightened and helpless as he is now.

Once he picked his head up and glanced around, only unfamiliar faces strangers appeared in his eyes..

“ who can help us hia? Who can help me wake you up? Who can stop your bleeding hia? Who can prevent the passage of time from flowing and allow hope to remain as long as possible.. a hope that you will stay with me..”

Tul thought to himself, distress already took over him..

“ The hospital just called just now khun, the ambulance is blocked by traffic on the road here” a stranger inform Tul

Hearing that information, the last ray of hope shattered.. just like how his heart torn into pieces..

Tul couldn’t think anything anymore, his tears dry, he can’t feel anything, he just plainly feel numb..

if he know how cruel fate will torn them, he wouldn’t ever left Mew before., he would hold him tightly and fought together against society, against his cowardness

“ if only.. if only...”

20 minutes later, the ambulance arrives..

paramedic rush out toward Mew and Tul..
They try to take Mew from Tul hold, since Tul unconsiously hold him so tightly...

They check up the vital sign of Mew’s lifeless body..

“ I am sorry khun.. but we already lose him” one of paramedic informed Tul

Tul just sit there silent..
he couldn’t hear anything, his gaze suddenly so hazzy, and suddenly the darkness consume him..