The Lady In Blue

part two.

One morning, many days after the first of the season ,
I awake early to write. I do so every morning, just as the sun rises and illuminates my room in its champagne gold light. Mother is still sound asleep and not around to catch me. Just as the pen hits the parchment paper a light knock sounds from behind my door. I scramble to hide my book, pen, and ink, before I call out “What is it?”  The door opens slowly to show my shy maid holding two envelopes. “The postman just dropped these off for you m’lady, I thought I ought to bring them before your mother wakes” she mutters quietly with her arms extended out to me, presenting the letters. Alberta hadn't been here very long but from the moment mother got her from the workhouse, she knew just how nosey my mother can be. I take the letters and gesture for her to leave, she scurries out the door and shuts it behind her. I set the envelopes upon my bed and study them. Both have my name scripted onto them. The one to the left is written in tall, delicate, thin cursive writing and the one to the right has thick short calligraphy. One must be from Daniella and the other William, which do I read first? This I do not know.

I check the scrunched piece of paper telling her address that Daniella had given to me, The writing is identical to that of the left letter. I instantly pick it up and open it, the blood red seal with her family crest popping off in one swift motion. I read the letter over and over like a mad man until I feel that the words are ingrained into my brain. I fold it up and hide it under my pillow. I don't not quite understand what makes me feel like I need to be hiding my friendship with Daniella but part of me feels that mother shall not know of our level of intimacy. If mother knew I wrote for her I would believe that the bickering wouldnt have an end. I flop back onto the soft linen sheets and let out a big sigh before sitting back up. I reached out for Williams' letter, I only read this one once before I realized what he is doing. William hopes to court me. Which means that by the end of the social season I could be engaged to be wed.

William is charming, unfortunately nothing is more repulsive than the idea of marriage. I know my mother has expected me to participate in courtship since the second I was presented to society at the start of last year's season, but I didn't realize how soon that would be. I pick the letter back up and read it once more. My stomach folds and turns, I am in desperate need of a walk around the villa so I call for Alberta to bring me my day dress, and parasol for the sun has fully risen by now. She brings me a pale pink gown with embroidered flowers all along the skirt, with a matching white bonnet decorated in pink flowers. Alberta dresses me and styles my hair, I do not care about my appearance now or ever but we both know that if I were to leave my quarters without being covered in rich fabrics mother would be livid. I  truly wish I could let my hair run free and wear nothing but the thin silk undergarments that lay behind all the layers of wealth. The morning sun has fully risen by now but the air is still cool.
I circle the garden a few times before I decide to go find my mother and join her for tea, she ought to be up by now. 
I find Mother in her parlor sitting on an oriate sofa and reading a letter. I notice that the seal on the envelope that's been discarded onto the coffee table has a familiar crest. She looks up at me “ hello my child, please sit.” she says with a warm smile, she turns to our butler and asks him to bring me some tea and more biscuits. I sat down beside her. “Your little friend from the duke's charity ball wrote.”  she explains as she continues to read the letter. I feel as though I've done something wrong. She puts the letter down onto the coffee table and looks back up at me and states “We’ve been invited to a dinner party.” I had never felt more relieved nor had I felt so excited to go to another party. “It seems that Daniella has quite the wealthy family, there will be many nobles there, plenty of which are not spoken for. I know you danced with William but I need you to have options”  no mother, you want me to get married to the first rich man who will take me. That's what I wish to say but do not out of fear. Instead I look back at her “Lovely!”  I exclaim through a smile. This time I don't have to pretend as if I want to go.

Mother and I continue with our regular small talk before she interrupts to share more news “Oh and also that William boy who you met at the ball? I know he's been writing to you, you better be kind to that boy. He's the duke's nephew.” She stated his social status so matter of factly I nearly spit out my tea. Now the pressure is truly heavy. I know for a fact that she is expecting I marry him, and I don't suppose he is so bad. He's quite charming and I have enjoyed him so far. I suppose I could do this just to satisfy my mother. Mother speaks up once more “ rumor says he fancies you quite well” and again I feel my stomach churn, the corset I’ve been laced into by Alberta adds a new level of pressure to the restricting feeling I already had been experiencing. Mother notices my blushing face and assumes I'm flustered rather than the reality, I am mortified. 
Our butler walks into the room and I set my tea down and sit myself up, he clears his throat and speaks up “Mrs. Taylor and Ms. Taylor, Mr. Anderson.” I feel my breathing stop as he opens the door and William walks through. William bows and utters a thanks to the butler. Mother sets her tea down as well and straightens her posture. We all sit in awkward silence before William opens his mouth to speak and mother interrupts him “ please, take a seat.” she waves her hand by the chair across from the two of us in a smooth motion to direct him to sit there. He nods and walks to the seat. “Pardon my sudden visit but I simply couldn't wait to see your daughter once more.” he explains with a warm smile. Mother lightly fans herself with a feathery fan decorated in gold accents, she is clearly won over by him. “ Don't worry yourself over such things. We don't mind, do we Anastasia?”  she turns to me and I look into her eyes to see her silently telling me “you know what this means?”  I swallow the lump in my throat before speaking up “No mother, I don't mind at all” I direct a soft grin to William. William clears his throat again, he's clearly quite antsy about seeing me. “If you wouldn't mind, I would love to request permission to take Anastasia out to town shopping, with a chaperone of course.”  Mother is absolutely delighted to hear such information “Why yes of course! Butler! Go get my son.” She speaks while fanning herself slightly quicker showing her excitement. The butler scurried off to find my brother. My Mother makes small talk with William and I simply sit in silence. After a few moments I hear the pitter patter of my dear brother and our butler down the hall. My older brother walks into the room and adjusts his chocolate brown hair. Mother lights up when she sees her golden boy enter the room “Charlie dear could you chaperone your sister on a shopping trip with Mr. Anderson here?”  Charlie nods “I would quite fancy that, I've been meaning to go to town to pick up a few things myself.” he responds. Mother smiles in joy. She will likely write to all her friends about this outing the second the door closes behind our backs. “Butler, call the carriage.” she barks at the poor man. Mother doesn't even bother to learn the name of any of the help we employ. She claims that all people are equal in her eyes but I know she believes otherwise.

We travel to town and spend the rest of our day exploring the countryside shops. William is surprisingly more enjoyable than I expected. He is quite humorous as well. He reminds me of a wee puppy, so joyous to explore the world and filled with energy. William contrasts Daniella in many ways. Daniella is whimsical and delicate whereas William is loud and silly.

Somehow I can't seem to get my mind off my dear friend Daniella when I should be busy getting flustered by my new found sutor. Yet I feel nothing but friendly fondness for the man whom is clearly infatuated with me. William seems to be so interested in my hand that I believe he may put up with my unladylike characteristics and interests, but there is a difference between simply putting up with it and appreciating me for the woman I am.