All That Matters: A Duskwood Fanfic

16: Silas

We spent the night in each other's arms, but by the time I woke the space next to me was cold. I'd found Jake in front of his computer, while my mug of hot chocolate was steaming next to him-even with everything going on he hadn't forgot-I'd been unable to tear him away from the computer for food. Instead, I'd opted to give him space and simply placed his food on the desk with him.

The name tumbles through my mind. Silas. The name of the person behind the text messages I keep getting. Frustration seeps from Jake as the clicks on the keyboard grow louder, faster. Somehow this Silas keeps thwarting Jake's defenses, which wouldn't be so bad if all traces of him seem to be invisible.

The sound of a chair scraping across a wooden floor had me looking up from the book I'd been reading. Well, pretending to read because I couldn't even remember the main characters name. Instead millions of questions were racing through my head.

The edge of the bed dips as Jake sits down giving me a small smile. I can't help but note the worry etched in his face, the tiredness in his eyes. Sometimes I almost forget all the things he has been through. The smoke-filled mines, watching every single time I was threatened...while Jake always seemed so steady-there are things that even get to him.

"Will you tell me?" I questioned as I laid the book on the nightstand.

"The first time I hacked into something..."He paused, his body stiffening as he remembered. "It was my mother's medical chart. You see- she'd had a lot of doctors' appointments, that's what she called them at least. My mother never lied to me-not until then at least. I'd always been good with computers. I contacted someone who talked me through how to do it."

"Silas?"

"Yes." His eyes were glued to the wall behind me, his usually expressive eyes vacant. "It was cancer, stage 4 with a big whopping inoperable tumor in her lungs. She wasn't even a smoker. Six months later-she was gone."

I squeezed his hand, "Oh, Jake."

"It wasn't until after her death I went back to Silas, and started hacking every day. We got into anything and everything we could. I stopped asking questions early on, Silas wasn't one for answers, and I didn't care. At that point I didn't care about anything. I'd stopped seeing my friends. I just sat in front of that computer and did everything Silas asked me to. That is until I'd hacked into some sort of witness protection database that was tied to some company doing human experiments. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't found out he was selling their locations to the highest bidder. That these people were being murdered-and it was my fault."

"Jake, it's not your fault. You didn't know."

"Not knowing, and not caring to know are two different things. It doesn't excuse what I did. At least my mother died still proud of me."

"Stop." I pulled Jake's eyes towards me. "Listen to me. Your mom is proud of the man you've become. You are kind, you care even though you pretend you don't, and you saved your sister."

"Charlee, I'm not-"

"You are."

He was, and I would do everything I could to make him see what I see. The strong, steady hand I'd needed to keep me moving forward. The calm, analytical shoulder I'd needed when I'd gotten too involved with Jessy and the others. The man who gave me butterflies by simply saying my name. Whose arms made me feel safe for the first time in years.

Tomorrow we would worry about Silas, about the FBI and anything else that tried to stand against us. Tomorrow we'd start our fight side by side. Tonight though, Jake needed the same comfort he'd offered me after learning about my brother.