Paradise in You | sope

paradise found | six

a/n: i'm going to be uploading the rest of paradise found, expect lots of updates<3

As Namjoon had predicted, it hadn't taken long for Yoongi to become paranoid.

Their routine had not changed. Nothing had changed, yet, Yoongi couldn't help but get jumpy every time Hoseok approached him in public. At school, if Hoseok so much as leaned against the lockers, Yoongi would jump, and every touch— no matter how friendly, had Yoongi flinching. It hurt Yoongi that he was acting this way, but what hurt more was that Hoseok never looked angry or upset. Hoseok would continue whatever he was doing without missing a beat, steering conversations into different directions, dispelling the tension that threatened them every time Yoongi brusquely interrupted their flow with his jitteriness.

Yoongi didn't deserve someone like Hoseok, and he knew it. How could Hoseok be so patient with him? How could Hoseok pretend to understand and accept that Yoongi couldn't be the person he was in public, as he was when they were by themselves? How could Hoseok just accept that proposition from Yoongi and never once get mad that Yoongi would publicly reject him or keep him at arm's length? Yoongi felt awful, more so because Hoseok deserved better. Hoseok was capable of having someone better, yet, he continuously chose to stay with Yoongi.

The only person apart from Namjoon who knew of their circumstances was Isla, and she'd done well in keeping what Yoongi had confessed a secret. She'd give them pointed glances and make inside jokes only Yoongi and Hoseok would understand, but she kept her word, and for that, Yoongi was grateful. But nothing compared to when Yoongi and Hoseok were by themselves.

"I don't know how you don't hate me yet."

Yoongi leaned against Hoseok's shoulder as they cuddled together and watched a movie. The door was closed, completely locked, so that Yoongi could be comfortable. While they were at Hoseok's house, and it wouldn't necessarily be a problem if the rest of the Jungs found out, Yoongi only felt safe knowing that right now, he was in control of the situation. It was almost February now, and Yoongi had only gotten closer to Hoseok, a feat he'd never thought could become possible.

"Why would I hate you?"

Yoongi shrugged, shifting himself closer to Hoseok. "I know you've seen how I react when we're out in public. Doesn't it hurt? I feel like I'm not appreciating you enough."

"You're appreciating me plenty, Gi," Hoseok assured, squeezing Yoongi's shoulders. "Being together isn't about making it known to the world that we're together." Hoseok paused. "Not that we're together, together, but you get what I mean. I'll wait for you. I've waited years already, right? I can wait a bit more for you."

Yoongi frowned. "That's what makes me feel bad. You shouldn't have to wait for someone. You really do deserve better."

"I don't want better, Yoongi," Hoseok said, pausing the movie. "I want you. I want to be with you. You could bring me the most perfect man in the world, and I would still choose you. I will repeat it as many times as I need to because it's true."

"Why?"

"You may not think you're good now," Hoseok said, looking at Yoongi. "But getting comfortable with your sexuality, all the baggage that comes from it, it's all a part of your growth. Just because you're not better right now doesn't mean you won't be in the future. You've gotten past denying your feelings and accepted that you aren't what your parents wanted you to be— what Texas wants you to be. That's more than most people I know. Makes me feel like I intervened at the right time. I don't know what I would have done with myself if you had figured out you loved me and told your parents, and because of it, they sent you away."

Every day, Hoseok soothed Yoongi's worries.

Yoongi's heart fluttered at Hoseok's words. Coming from a voice so quiet, so gentle, holding so much love and affection for Yoongi, he knew that right now, everything had to be okay. Someday, they would be perfectly fine. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow. Maybe not even a month from now. But eventually, they would be. It didn't stop the apprehension that Yoongi felt every time he was in public, but it did help him feel better about all the scenes he could control.