Studying Love

Chapter 34: Screaming hearts

Charles' pov

I walk in and sigh "Arthur if you're here to give me another speech about her I don't want to hear it and I want you to leave right now. Otherwise, I'm going to take a shower, pack whatever she needs you to get and ask me if you can't find it." I hear nothing and when I turn to the kitchen I freeze. "I'm so sorry, I thought you were occupied tonight and wanted to get some stuff I needed for my work that was still here... I'll leave." I see her eyes starting to water as she quickly walks past me. I turn around and grab her hand "Wait, don't go." She looks at my hand and back to my eyes as my eyes also started to water. "I... I don't know what to say to you Charles..", "How did you even know I wasn't supposed to be home?", she doesn't look at me "In our shared calender it said that you had a dinner..." I smile, I canceled that because I didn't feel like it but forgot to take it out of the calender. I let go of her hand "Do you also want something to drink?" and grab myself a glass of water, she shakes her head but she does sit down at the counter. Okay Charles, this is the moment, stay cool. "Lilly, I get that you were very very angry with me, and you had every right to be. But It's not fair to me to just disappear and eventually live your best life in the home of one of my friends. It's even worse that you only sent my own brother to get things for you."  I look at her and I see her mood shift from sadness to rage. Shit, here we go, I blew it.

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Lilly's pov

Is he kidding? He wants to start this conversation with how he's mad about my disappearing? Wow... I look at him and feel the rage building inside of me. I try to keep my cool but I burst. "I'm sorry what did you just say to me?" it stays silent. "You bring in your ex, in the middle of the night without even asking if I'm okay if she stays here. I would 100% have said no because I overheard a conversation of her and a friend of how much she hates me and can't wait to get you back to her, which she was trying to. She probably did have her keys just in her purse, did you even check that? When I tell you to throw her out, you defend her. Which is not the first time you defended her over me. Than you ignore me when I did feel like we could still fix this, to only dump me over a text like the past 6 months meant nothing to you. And you have the nerves to tell me you're mad? Wow Charles, great talking, I'll clean out my shit when you're in Bahrain!" I get up from the chair and want to walk away but turn around "You don't get to be judging my actions here, it's your actions that created this mess, don't swift the gaze to me!" He looks at me and for the first time ever he raises is voice at me "You have no idea how worried I was about you. You have close to no friends here, you wouldn't stay with my mum and your old apartment has been given to someone else. You literally had no place to stay, do you know how anxious that made me? And than to find out you were just chilling at the place of one of my friends while you practically declared yourself single, god who knows what you two have done. By the way, did you send Arthur to speech for you after I sent you the text?" Arthur, what is he even talking about? "I have no idea what you're talking about, Arthur only went to get my stuff once. And nice of you to assume I slept with Lando, good to know how you really think of me. Maybe you can call Charlotte, I'm sure she slept like a baby with you after I left. I still can't believe you were the only person that didn't see how much she despises me." The discussion is getting more heated and Charles slams his fist on the counter "LILLY ALL I WANT IS TO BE WITH YOU, FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE BUT YOU'RE MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO THAT IF YOU DISAPPEAR AFTER EVERY AGRUMENT AND ASSUME THINGS THAT DID NOT HAPPEN." he is breathless and shaking out of anger. The silence in the room is so loud. "Did she leave? Without trying something?" "Are you deaf? I did nothing with her, I slammed my door in her face and she left in the morning while I was still waiting for you to come back home." We're both out of breath due to yelling, facing eachother. "I want us to be together, I want you back home Lilly. I want to wake up next to you everyday of my life. I fucking love you." I don't know what to say, I also don't know how I feel but I know what my heart wants "I...I want you too" I say softly.