Babs

Chapter 5: going to school

Off I went to high school as Babs (officially Barbara). My biggest fear was that someone would penetrate my disguise. The only one who seemed to have any doubts was Cher, a friend of Fran's from primary school, and a really smart girl. But she said nothing.

Going to the toilet was the other problem. I had good bladder control and avoided going when other kids were around - mostly by going during class time.

Mum kept trying to get me a boy's uniform. She asked around, saying that Vincent would need it when he came back. But had no luck.

As the weeks slipped by, I quickly settled in with Fran and three other girls, Cher, Trish and Sylvia. We shared most classes and hung around together at recess and lunch. Strangely, I felt I was beginning to enjoy school.

Previously I had not liked school; I found it a drag. I'd had a few friends in primary school, but no one close. I managed the schoolwork okay but with little enthusiasm. I didn't like sports much and was pretty useless at most sporting activities.

Now I felt that I was relating well to my new group of friends. Fran was really enjoying having me with her and we were all having fun.

We did our end-of-term tests in the second last week of the term. To my surprise, I scored second (behind Cher) in most subjects. Mum was delighted. Fran as well, "My sister is starting to show how smart she really is."

Unfortunately, Fran's kind remark also summed up my clothes (or gender identity) problem.

Our financial position hadn't improved. We were surviving, but it was essentially a day-to-day affair. Mum could only manage to get a small amount of casual work and our mountain of debt remained intact. Mum was considering declaring herself bankrupt, something she really hated the thought of and a matter complicated by Dad's desertion, and of course, we would lose our house.