𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞

chapter six

Sydney Lee

❝ this feeling is only temporary ❞
*anxiety & self harm*
☙❦❧

Social anxiety.

It's a huge factor of my life that I have to deal with.

It's something I've always had, but it's only become more difficult since about 2 years ago.

I've found ways to deal with it but, it's still something I'm trying to learn how to deal with.

I know what triggers it and the side effects that come with it and the close people around me know how to help me.

My physical side effects that most people see first is when I play with my fingers or start to zone out from what's going on.

I also say a lot of the time when I'm in big groups of people "oh umm there is a lot of people i don't like it here".

Most of the time I'm with Tilly or my siblings when it triggers but I'm trying to be positive about it right now.

But today I'm nervous about it because of how many people are going to be in the arena for this hockey game.

I've been to so many in the past to watch Spencer play but for some reason today I feel excited.

Miles has not stopped going on about this game today, it really does mean a lot to him and I know he's going to do so well.

He's doing great with his business work so I've got my fingers crossed that he passes this exam so he can stay hockey captain.

☙❦❧

The eye contact Miles and me just had as he made his way onto the ice was nothing but...magical.

I had been trying to distracted myself by playing with the rings on Tilly's fingers as it helps me try and to focus on them and not all the people around me.

But once Miles came onto the ice it was like all of my anxiety just left my body. well most of it.

As I hold the eye contact with him, he gives me a warm smile as the bell goes off causing us to break eye contact.

I blink a few times to get myself back into the room and ready to watch the game.

I have never really understood the rules of hockey all I know is that they need to get the black puck into the goal and not let it get to the other team.

Thats about all I know.

Probably should pay more attention to Spencer when he talks about hockey all the time.

The boys are probably the ones to talk to about the rules i guess.

I just like come for the fun of it, even though I hate the big crowds but I love to come and support my brother and well now Miles and the boys.

The first two parts of the game have ended with Mayfield headed by two points and us North Shore down by 1 point.

One of our players got sent off which shouldn't of happened as the other player from Mayfield clearly knocked our player over.