Cupid

Chapter 67: Alone

I hear my roommates walk inside the house but I don't really make a move to get up and greet them. I feel my bed dip and my blanket get pulled from my head. "You okay?" Pauly asked me.

"I'm fine." I whispered.

Pauly leaned down further and smothered me in kisses making me smile. Next thing I know I'm getting picked up and carried out the house to the picnic table outside with everyone else. Unit and Ryder is here.

"Avy jorrāelan." Pauly says to me making me laugh.

"Avy jorrāelan tolī ribazmoqitta." I spoke back and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. "I wanna cuddle." I told him.

He stood up with my legs around him and walked back inside the house to our room. This was a great distraction from my shit feelings from earlier today.

Before I could even take my shirt off, Deena had walked in and sat in front of our beds. "Ciao." She greets and then just sits their awkwardly.

Me and Pauly looked at her and then each other just waiting for her to leave. "What's up?" Pauly asked her.

"Tired." She says and nothing else.

She didn't move a muscle. Just sat there playing with her stuff toy. "Deena can you get the fuck out, I'm trying to get dicked down?" I asked her rudely. Like she's becoming Angelina and being a major cockblock right now.

"Whatever bye, didn't have to be mean about it." Deena says as she leaves.

I was about to talk back when Pauly out his hand over my mouth pulling my attention back to him. "What's wrong with you?" He asked me.

"Nothing I'm fine, I just want sex." I said.

"It's more than that but im not gonna push it right now." He tells me and pulls me into a hug. I sigh and hug him back and nuzzle my face into his neck. "You can tell me anything you know that?." He states.

"I know." I whispered.

|•~•|

The next day me and Vinny were just sitting up on the porch outside that looks over the boardwalk. It was like we were sharing each others depressive feelings. "What got you so down in the dumps?" He asked me.

"Family. You?"

"Same. Ever since I saw my mom again I've been, I've been homesick." Vinny says. I nod my head in understanding. "What happened that day at Hook's you just kinda disappeared and Pauly was not like loud as he usually is?" He asked me.

"I left and walked home. The whole party was about hanging out with friends and family, and I have no friends outside this house and my only family was in Italy, so I just felt alone, and depressed." I told him and it look like he knew where I was coming from.

"It's getting to that point where I don't know if I want to be here feeling like this anymore." I continued.

"Relatable." He joked making me smile.

"Come on, I'm pretty sure they're going to Aztec tonight, maybe it'll cheer us up." I suggested and he got up with me so we could get dress.

|•~•|

"Tonight I need to get my boy Vinny and girl Tina out of their funk because a blind guy can realize that those two are in a funk right now, but it's a war zone out here." Pauly says.

Aztec was packed and it was packed with grenades everywhere. The bartender made me a sex on a beach and it tasted like shit. Like how do you fuck up one of the most easiest drinks there is, I don't get it.

I was not in the mood to stay at Aztec so me and Vinny agreed to just leave and Pauly who was trying to help us, decided to leave with us as well.

"I don't feel like I use to feel whenever I'm in Jersey. I'm not dancing, I'm in a negative mood, not dressing how I would usually dress when I go to the club, and it's getting to the point where I might consider it as small hint of depression. I'm not gonna cut myself if that's what you're thinking, but I don't see how I can be happy right now." I say.

|•~•|

I sat in my bed alone, left to my thoughts. Seeing my family helped me realize how alone it is to be here in the States. It was fine before but I never knew how alone I had felt when we had that party. I didn't even have any friends that's how fucked up I am. I made a small sniffle which had Pauly come walking in see my wet face.

"Hey, hey, Valentina what's wrong?" He asked me.

"I miss my family." I cried hugging him as he had laid down next to me. "I miss my mom, my dad, but I just really miss my brothers. It broke my heart having to leave them in Italy and never having that possibility of seeing them again, and then that party at Hook's was just a reminder that I have no one here." I sobbed.

"You have me, okay?" He stated into my ear as he rubs my back but I just continue to cry.

"I want to go home, I have nothing else give being here in Jersey. I want to see my family." I cried out as if I was in pain.

I ended up crying myself to sleep.