Halal Heartbeat

Chapter 5

Manal

Last night after dinner:

"Manal, Chère, I need to talk to you." Mama says, after cleaning the last of the dishes. She plops onto the couch and instructs me to do the same. "Amir came to see your father a few days ago, and asked for your hand," Immediately, my skin goes pale. My fingers go numb. Blood, cold. "Isn't it great? Alhamdullallah, a handsome and successful young man asks for your hand! I've waited so long for this day!" Mama's overjoyed, but I don't feel the same. "Mum, Amir and I called it quits years ago. I don't know why he's back after all this time." She eyes me confused. "Well then, this is your chance!" Mama places her palm on mine. "Don't waste it. He loves you-'' I cut her off immediately. "But the feeling's not mutual, Mum." Her face turns stern, trying to match mine. "Manal, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. He's rich. He'll take you places, Manal. Be grateful for what just showed up on your doorstep. You loved him before, why not now?" I scoff. "Mum he's abusive and a player for God's sake, come on." Mama shakes her head. "Again with that bloody nonsense. Stop it! We've known his family for so long, he's not that type of person. You two were engaged before, why can't you reconcile." I'm tired of the back and forth, so I stand up. "Mama, please, I don't want to talk about this. I'm not ready for marriage, not yet. Give me some time to find the one, please." And with that, I trot up the stairs to my room. "You'll be forty by the time you take your kids to kindergarten!" She yells out, giving a little chuckle. I want to laugh too, but it's hard when a topic brings you so much pain. Maybe Mum was right, we found love once. But I grew up and snapped straight into reality. Amir hurt me. And that kind of trauma can never heal again.

Tomorrow:

On my way to work, I pick up a coffee and breakfast sandwich from my favourite place. Just then, I get an incoming call from Mia. "Alsalamulaikum, good morning," I say, making a U-Turn. "Walaikumalsalam, can you pick me up a coffee with you? The coffee here is terrible, I think they put something in it." I groan deeply. "Mia, I just got out of the drive through." She chuckles. "Come on, please? I'll pay you back." I smile and turn back. "No need. By the way, I need to talk to you. Meet me at the lounge before I start my shift?"  "Yeah, sure," I grab her coffee with a breakfast sandwich and head to the hospital.

"Good morning Doctor Mahmoudi," The secretary smiles. "Morning," I place my things on my desk and head straight for the loung. If I don't hurry, I'll be late for my shift. "Hey!" I call out to Mia and pass her the coffee and sandwich. "Thanks for the sandwich by the way," I smile. "Anytime."  Mia takes a sip of her coffee and a big bite of her sandwich. "You wanted to talk?" She says through a mouthful. I bow my head back and explain the whole story on how Mum is trying to convince me to accept Amir's marriage proposal and how she thinks I'm being "ungrateful". "Ok, so first of all, whisper, because the whole office can probably hear you." She giggles. "Mia, I hate him. He has absolutely no right to come back into my life! It's simply cruel and that's what he is; black hearted. God damn black hearted, Mia. We used to be crazy in love, believe it? But he went out and cheated. It's all his fault this was ruined. And Mum just doesn't want to admit to the fact that he's the biggest phoney on the planet because she saw his Facebook profile, which is filled with Islamic quotes and his so called 'life lessons'. It's all fake and I mean, how gullible can one be?!" The bell rings and it's time for me to head the my first shift. I sigh deeply and drop my head into Mia's lap. "Ok. So how about this: roses are read, violets are blue, if his Facebook profile is full of bull, focus on you!" I stand up straight and burst out laughing. "Mia- you- OH MY GOD!" Snatching my bag, I head back to my office.

God, I'm five minutes late to Mazin.

As I approach the office, I see him rushing out. I call out to him. "Oh! Mazin, you're here. I was wondering why you didn't show up." He turns around and his eyes are filled with a mixture of hurt and betrayal. Then he turns to his heels and walks away. Curious and confused, I yell and follow after me. After walking all the way to the driveway, he finally turns around."Sorry, Manal, I wouldn't want to disturb you with my presence since I have absolutely 'no right to come back in your life', huh?" I stare at him blankly. "Mazin, what's gotten in to you?" He scoffs and turns up to face the sky. But I'm still standing there confused. His next action surprises me. He just gets into his car and drives away. "Mazin, what the actual heck? Fine! Leave!" I don't even know what I feel! Anger? Confusion? Or a mixture of both?

When I get home, Mama asks me about Mazin. "His Mum is so concerned. She says for the past week after he's gotten the job, he's been doing so much better. But since today, Mazin's back to before." She talks as if she's super concerned and it's a global issue now. The world doesn't revolve around him and his temper tantrums. "I don't know. He wasn't at work today." To be honest, I'm not even sure what to tell her.

"He came in today and didn't feel like working, so he stormed out, insulted me, and left without saying a word."

"Anyways, it's been a long day," I say, glancing at the clock. It reads 5:45. "I'm going to hit the sack." Mama walks towards the kitchen. "No dinner? I made chicken tagine, your favourite." I kiss her forehead and kindly decline.

While in bed, I contemplate whether or not text him. I mean, the least I could do is see how he's doing. Wait- he's the one who drove off in a hurry with out so much as an explanation. I put my phone back on my desk and stare at my ceiling for a while before my eyes start to get heavy. I let out a good yawn and slip over to my side. Tomorrow, this will all make more sense.