Chapter Thirty Two

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Kath felt groggy in the way of someone who'd spent entirely too long asleep, but she'd forced herself up and about. Stupid, but I can't wait for work. How mad is that? Something...normal. Something everyday. It's not just carrying magic that makes you so...done over. Too much has happened. Her mind was reeling. It seemed impossible only a month had passed since she'd been walking down the Thames bank, writing off a daydream. Walking out of Richmond station to the office, however, her morning coffee scalding her hand in its paper cup, she took an opportunity she'd missed.

"Hey. Day?"

The sunshine cloud hadn't left her side once. The constant hovering presence was both comforting and offputting; even while she'd slept she'd known the Guardian was there. She could feel anxiety pouring from her.

"Seer?"

"I just wanna say. Look. I don't think..." Ugh. How the hell do I say this? I don't even know if it's true. Maybe Lady does hate her. But...she knows. Surely. That it's the fault of the guys trying to kill people, not...I dunno. I don't know what she's thinking...she scratched her original comment. "It wasn't your fault, not really. You weren't to know."

"Hm. I am a poor Guardian, it seems," said Day. "Human works are new to me. I did not expect a Guardian such as Fire to consider...that kind of method. So it is my fault." She sighed. "Seer, how old do you believe me to be? This incarnation of me?"

Kath blinked. Against the bright morning sunlight and the white station front, Day was almost invisible to her human eyes. Only the ripples in the air gave away her agitated movement. "God. No idea."

"About five hundred years," the cloud responded. "I have seen a lot. A lot of changes. To us, human invention is so new and fleeting! We do not belong in this world, like you do. We are..." she sighed again. Kath started walking, not least because she had to get to work but also the buffeting crowd slewing from the station were starting to look irritated by a random woman standing slap-bang in the middle of the exit, holding them all up. Am I forgetting how to be normal?! I'm going to become one of those slow-moving commuters everyone else wants to punch. She attuned her mind to Day again. "We are not natural, as you are. Our magic is, but us, as conscious beings...no. We are – made gods, almost. You understand how we formed? That it is the belief of humans that shaped us as concepts? And the spark of energy, of magic, that made us develop? Yet...Wisdom tells me it is also the habit of humans to personify things that allowed us to start having identities. And while we are focussed on what we are, any living being will become...curious. You made us, not the other way around. We are your toys, if you like. So it is hard to understand human invention. Where is the line, when a Guardian becomes more than they should, becomes something that could be human? Our bodies are not real. Without our power, we will...cease to be. This is what the Lord wishes, and in truth...we are old. We do not mind. We will all live in you."

"Philosophy," said Kath, pulling a face. "You guys seem like people to me. And people make mistakes. And...that ain't true, surely? You'll vanish? What about Pes? He's only my age!"

Day looked as awkward as it was possible for a cloud to look. "Alexander – the Lord – was always concerned about how close Lady had grown to the Guardian of Pestilence, but he couldn't bear for her not to have a friend. And...in truth, we do not know what will happen, if we dissipate. Our deaths are something else, something temporary. We reform. Yet when we are not held in check to do so...as I said. What makes a being, truly alive? Will we survive? We do not know. I cannot imagine the Guardian of Pestilence has not thought about this as well."

"Shit," said Kath. What else can I say? Pes looked so...human, even with his hideous face, even with the tales of his magic scarred into his skin. She'd thought of him as being just like her – just like Lady. She'd do anything to save him. When he moves, she moves with him. If he's in danger, she leaps in front of him. Look at Fire. When it got close to him she lost it. What the hell? And...he's my mate, too. I don't want him to go. I don't want any of them to go. She looked up at Day, but the Guardian had moved on past her and into the office. Kath still had to fidget with her pass card to let herself into the building.

"Being human is such a pain!" The Guardian laughed as Kath manoeuvred her be-coffee-cupped way through the door, and the comment was delivered so playfully it quite derailed any further attempt at serious conversation.

On the way up the stairs she was mobbed.

"You look like shit," said Mark cheerfully. "Where's Ice Queen?"

"Oh. Uh." Kath tried to arrange her expression into something appropriate. "Guys...her father...died. That's what happened. So I guess she's on bereavement leave for a bit." She blushed at the half truth, but everyone's faces had fallen.

"Oh wow. Now I feel bad," Hannah stared at her feet. "Is that why she was so – awkward? Was it a long term thing? Coz you were helping her with it..."

Kath bit the inside of her cheeks. "Um, yeah. Yeah. So...yeah. It's crap."

"Totally," said James. "Hey, why don't I get her a card? We call all sign it. I know it's a bit nothing but at least maybe she'll have something. Like, so she knows she's not on her own. When she comes back it won't be so bad."

Kath tried to imagine Lady receiving a sympathy card. Would she be offended or pleased? Impossible to tell. Would she even understand its purpose? No harm in trying, I guess. He's right. One day...she'll come back...? She couldn't quite think that once whatever happened...happened...that the world would stop turning. Things had to move on, at least on the surface. Maybe I can't help much in some ways but at least I can make sure she's got something to come back to...The conversation with Day still lurked fresh in her mind. But without Pes...possibly without her mother...will she even want to? And then the whole world will be able to be magic...The sudden implications started to crash down on her. How will that even work? Like, I can see them. I can see what they could be. But how will they pick it up? Is it instant? Everything will fall apart!

"Yeah, good idea," she said to James. "Thanks." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You've gone all pale. You sure?"

"Just thinking," said Kath, pathetically.

"Bad idea," said Mark, clapping her on the shoulder. "Bossman's coming. Look lively, team." He saluted, and everyone filed off to their desks. James gave her one last, thoughtful look as he went.

"He's cottoning on. Stupid man noticing stuff," she mumbled to Day as she switched on her computer. "Do you know what's going to happen when everything gets loose? Like, is it all going to sort of flood over everyone or what? That can't be a good idea..."

Day laughed. "Goodness. No. It is...a potentiality. Not an immediate right. The themes of what the lifeblood of this planet have become are made by humans, but not everyone will innately be able to – choose to – channel it. Not everyone will have every power, of course. It will start small, flooding into the turning of the world once more, into the points on the world where before humans, the energy flowed. Do you know of ley lines?"

"Yup," said Kath. She had 109 emails. That actually could be worse. As her boss came in, she started methodically red flagging the important ones while listening to Day.

"Ley lines are from when the earth was young, when the magical energy was whole and complete and unfragmented, unshaped, untapped. It simply had to be, to keep the world turning, to inspire life – life as opposed to mere moving automata, what life is without souls, without magic. The energy you feel in all that lives. It was only when humans – when the Lord – discovered it and opened it, if you like, that the human race especially became intricately linked to it. And all humans are different. And all magic is part of the earth. All humans could farm, but few do. All humans could grow plants, but some are predisposed to kill them, a-purpose or by lack of talent. It will be gradual, seeping throughout the world from the core point of wherever it is loosed." She laughed. "Perhaps this city. A glowing hub."

"Not the first time London's been a glowing hub," Kath muttered. But she was relieved. Time to plan. Guess I'm going to have to re-evaluate my whole life. That wasn't on any career brochure I read. She pulled up a spreadsheet just in time for her boss' arrival and buried herself in numbers. 

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