Curiosity can only be cured through liberty

Out

I wanted out from my parent's house and out of the mental prison that I felt locked in since I finished high school.

I wanted to know me. Who I was and what was all about me without any fears or restrictions or fear of 'what will my parents say or think or do if I did this and that'. I wanted to know Natasha. I wanted to know what I like, what I don't like, what frustrates me, what makes me calm, or anxious. I wanted to settle the curiosity that comes with being an early adult.

I wanted the space to know me. The time to figure out what life is all about. What my life was going to be about, or at least, what I should expect from it. I needed some degree of liberty that could settle all these questions and more that I had not yet figured out.

Hell, I even needed the time to figure out my sexuality. It was just as scary to me as it was when I had the tiniest hunch when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I needed to just be away from the so-called safety that was literally scaring my heart to death whenever the thought of it came to my head. I couldn't talk about my sexuality with me, even though I wanted to talk about my sexuality with me.