Back To You

Chapter 3: Debating Decisions

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown at her. There was no way she was sparked; her scanners had to be malfunctioning.

In denial, she ran the scan again and again, but the results came back the same. She was carrying.

Slowly, she dropped her servo to her carrying chamber, trying to process everything.

Once reality finally set in, her processor began spinning, and she thought she'd black out at any second.

She stayed like that for a few long minutes. Her emotions were a complete mess; she didn't know how to feel, much less what to do.

Her mission, her stalker, and now this? It was all too much.

And she was now realizing she hadn't seen any sign of the mysterious bot in the facility a few hours ago—odd.

But that was beside the point. She didn't have time to deal with a sparkling right now.

Her mission was vital to the ongoing revitalization of their planet. After countless centuries of war, Cybertron was starting a new era of rebuilding and growth.

They couldn't risk leaving a single bot with opposing and selfish intents loose against Cybertron and its rapidly growing population.

She'd never forgive herself if Cybertron were lost to another war, and she wasn't there to prevent it.

But on the other hand, she was having a sparkling. In a few months, she'd be holding a tiny bot that would completely depend on her for it's survival.

Cry when it needed something, whine when it didn't get what it wanted, throw a tantrum when—

She felt her arm vibrate with a new notification, something about a call with Heatwave scheduled that weekend.

'Oh, my Primus...Heatwave!'

Her sparkbeat quickened. How the frag was she supposed to tell Heatwave?

They weren't together in that way. And what if he didn't want a sparkling?

Before her intrusive thoughts could send her into a full-blown panic attack, a distant memory surfaced and offered some comfort.

—

It was one of those rare instances when their schedules lined up, and they both had the day off. They were stargazing atop Mount Griffin, talking about anything and everything while mapping out the countless constellations above them. It was basically a date, but the pair insisted they were only hanging out as friends.

As the night progressed, the temperature dropped more and more, and their conversation drifted to embarrassing stories.

She explicitly remembered teasing him about a photo of him holding Robo-baby Blades showed her, unaware the rotary was dropping hints.

Heatwave had gotten so blue his cheek plates were literally glowing, and it was a while before he spoke up again.

"Have you ever thought of..having younglings?" He asked out of nowhere.

Quickshadow turned her helm so fast she was momentarily dizzy. "W-what?" she sputtered.

"Later on in the future," he quickly amended, so he didn't sound like he was coming on too strong.

"I wouldn't mind having one..but I don't know if I'd be a good sire." He subconsciously tilted his helmet down, unsure why he asked the question and why he was telling her this. "I didn't exactly have a sire figure..or any parental figure growing up." He shrugged.

"You'd be a wonderful sire," she spoke without thinking.

Caught off guard, he slowly turned to her. "You think so?"

She nodded. "You're practically Cody's adoptive sire. You're far more protective of him than anyone on the team." She sat up.

"I'm supposed to look out for him; it's part of my job." He mimicked her so they could talk properly.

"Job or not, you care about him, protect him, and are always there for him. That's what a sire is supposed to do." She barely whispered the last bit.

Heatwave mulled over her words for a moment, his helm dipping in a nod. He never thought about it like that.

"Perhaps having younglings of your own would do you well." she shrugged, a teasing smirk pulled at her dermas. "They could teach you to be more patient and tolerant."

Heatwave scoffed, laid down, and turned his attention back to the stars. "Can never have a heartfelt moment with you," he grumbled.

Quickshadow laughed and leaned her helm on his chassis, tensing at how cold his windshield was.

Peaceful silence enveloped them until Heatwave decided he wanted to hear her view on the subject.

"So what about you?"

When she didn't respond for a while, he worried he'd crossed some line.

"Maybe." He felt her shrug against him, her voice soft and quiet.

"Someday..when I'm ready, I think one or two would suffice."

—

She rubbed her temples, the memory dissipating into the confines of her processor.

She wondered how he'd take the news. Maybe he'd be initially shocked, just like her, then he would make sure she wasn't messing with him, and finally, he'd perhaps be happy, excited even.

She didn't know how he'd react, and it made her anxious. But after that conversation, she knew he wanted to be a sire someday, and she couldn't imagine him casting her and their sparkling out.

He'd be ecstatic; she had no doubt about that. But she still wasn't sure how she felt.

It wasn't that she didn't want a sparkling of her own; she simply didn't have time for one, and if she was being honest, she didn't feel like she was ready to be a carrier.

She would've liked to settle down first, but it was a little too late for that now. According to her readings, she was almost two months into her gestation.

Right now, she had to figure out what to do. Choose to either stay and finish her mission or return to Earth and tell Heatwave of their upcoming arrival.

Torn between her duties to her home planet and her responsibilities as a soon-to-be-carrier, she ran multiple scenarios of what would happen if she left or stayed, and after hours of going back and forth between the two options, she chose to return to Earth.

Her sparkling's safety was paramount, and her job was far too dangerous for a pregnant bot.

As for her mission, she had to trust that all the other agents, spies, and special operations officers had things under control. They'd gone through the same training she had, and it wasn't like she'd be much help in her current condition.

With her mind made up, she messaged Heatwave, hoping he wasn't busy.

'Are you free? We need to talk.'