Disney Rants!

Frozen

Oh the holy grail that is Frozen... I have so many mixed feelings about this.

Grab some popcorn. This is going to take a while.

First off, can I just point out how shitty Anna and Elsa's parents were? The rock trolls literally said that fear would control Elsa, and what do they do? They lock her up. Where is the logic??

And that leads me to the next thing. The trolls.

I absolutely hated the trolls. Like, what were they even? How did the king and queen know them? Why did they decide to adopt (without consent) Kristof?

Oh Kristof... how I dislike you.

I feel like he was a useless character. He was really only there as Anna's love interest, and to show that girls don't need a man to save them.

Seriously. Kristof wasn't that important.

I mean, he was already like half-insane. Not many normal people can talk reindeer.

But this is technically a Disney movie, so I'll let it slide.

Now then, Elsa.

So many people are going to hate me for this.

Why does Elsa have powers, but not Anna? Why????

And I feel like the whole "Let It Go" is very much over rated.

Let go of what, Elsa? Your powers? Your past? Your sanity?

Seriously, get it together.

I mean, she is the queen. Who left her own kingdom. Like, did she think everyone would carry on without their queen?

And Elsa wasn't even that great of a sister. I mean, okay, she shut Anna out because of her powers, and that's understandable. But why, was Elsa ignoring her sister, even after their parents deaths? Like this is your younger sister, show some respect.

And who even led the kingdom after the king and queen died? The servants? What?

Bruh, that's not how you should run a kingdom.

Anyways, back to Elsa.

So she was "born with powers". Like what even??? Everyone else in the royal family was normal??? I won't accept that answer, Disney.

And her powers. They are so confusing. So she basically is supposed to have winter-ish powers, right? Well then, explain her other powers. Such as...

- castle building
- dress making
- creating life

Explain yourself Disney.

And I hate Elsa at the ending. Like, it took you the ENTIRE movie to figure out that love would fix all your problems?

Dude, the ugly trolls literally told you that at the start of the movie.

And in the castle, when Anna is all like:

"Yoo we can fix your winter you created."

Then Elsa is all like:

"Dude, I can't hurt you again. So leave mah fabulous castle that I somehow made."

So yada yada yada, Elsa tells Anna she refuses to hurt her again.

Then why did she create a FRICKING GIANT MONSTER SNOWMAN to throw Anna off a cliff?

Another reason why Elsa is a crappy sister.

And don't argue about how all sisters fight. Sure they do, but that doesn't give you the right to try and commit their murder.

Moving on.

Anna. Anna. Annnnnnnnnnnna.

Honestly, I have no words. I absolutely love Anna. She's mah ball of adorable squish.

Just one thing though.

Why did Oakens shop just happen to carry a dress, coat, and boots in Anna's size? Kinda creepy.

And how did her hair stay in two straight braids? The entire time?

Bruh, if you jump off a cliff, your braids should've been a mess.

Time for Olaf.

Olaf, I freaking hate you.

I am going to get so much hate for this *sigh*

I feel like the focused the movie too much around him.

Like, the first promos that came out were only centred around him. Honestly, I though the movie was about a snowman trying to get back his nose.

Olaf, you're an annoying little piece of sh*t only thrown in for comic relief and an annoying song. Also, the main characters needed a comical sidekick.

It can't be a true Disney movie without a sidekick.

Now for Hans.

I have one thing to say.

F*ck you Hans.

Let's start with the Frozen ships, shall we?

You got your Helsa ships, Hanna ships, and I've recently learned that there's an Hans x Kristof shipping. Hanstof? Krans?

Screw every ship involving him. People ship him with the characters for all the wrong reasons.

He's basically a mirror character. He reflects the personality of whoever he's with. Like he's goofy with Anna, serious and sorta detached with Elsa, and serious with the guards.

Hans doesn't even have a personality, except at the end, when he goes all psycho killler mode and tries to chop off Elsa's head. Literally. How is this a kids movie. No need to chop heads off here guys.

So yeah. Screw you Hans.

Sven. Sveeeeeeeen. Sveny pooooo.

You're adorable and I love you.

Oaken.

Oaken is bae. I also like his family. Shoutout to Disney for that one.

Alright, so that was basically just a character analysis. I'll probably do a part two sometime in the near future.

Until then...

Eat a pear. (not apples, #OncersGetIt)

Take a nap.

Remind yourself you look freaking beautiful today.

- Veronica