Disney Rants!

The Little Mermaid

I'm so bad at updating please don't hurt me.

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I actually watched this movie yesterday, so let's start from the beginning.

First off, why does Triton so obviously favourite Ariel? Is it just because she looks like her mom? Is it because none of her sisters can possibly be related to Triton because let's be real, there's a huge chance that Momma Triton had an affair because none of the other daughters resemble either Triton or Momma Triton, except maybe for the brunette one.

Moving on.

When Ariel is exploring the sunken ship, she finds a fork, uh 'dinglehopper', and becomes so intrigued by it. Do merpeople not have basic utensils underwater? How do they even eat?

Next off, Ariel is an asshole to Triton and her sisters by forgetting to show up to the concert that was literally all about her. Rude much?

Anyways, we go on to Ariel being yelled at by Triton, whom I understand. He threw a concert in her name, and then she never showed up. How did she even forget? Don't they have rehearsals? Why didn't anyone check if Ariel was actually at the theatre before the show started? This could all been avoided if they were smart and looked for Ariel before the show!

Okay, so let's mosey our way to Ariels secret cave thingy with all her human stuff in it. How did nobody ever find out about it before? Did Ariel never spend any time with her sisters or anyone else? Was she that much of an introvert? Even though she liked exploring and had a few animal friends? Ariel sucks at basic people interaction more than I do, and that's saying something.

Back to the cave thingy with human stuff in it, there was a book. She literally picked up a book and flipped through the pages while singing Part Of Your World. No! That is impossible! Your book shouldn't be able to be in perfect state like that at the bottom of the ocean!

How is any of it in perfect state anyways? Stuff like a fork I can understand, but a book? A painting? That is just not possible.

Okay so now we're at the part of the ship sailing on top of the waters. Ariel, being the annoying mermaid she is, decides to take a closer look. There, she meets Eric's dog, Max, who licks her face but doesn't say anything except for the occasional barking. My question is that why does every other animal we've met so far talks, but Max doesn't? Is it because he's not an underwater animal? But the seagull Scuttle could talk, and he's not an aquatic animal.

My head hurts.

Okay, so anyways there's the huge explosion on the ship, and all the humans swim to boats and crap. And dumbass Eric drowns.

So why is it only Ariel that sees all of this? Do other mermaids simply not care? Or are observant? And would Triton know that there was a human ship on the water that exploded? Or maybe not, because there never really was an in depth explanation of his abilities. But still. His wife died because of a human ship, you think he'd be more observant when boats like those come sailing by, and explode.

Also how did not one single person notice Ariel rescue Eric. Why is everyone in this movie either ignorant or dumb as a rock?

So let's skip to the part to where Flounder finds the statue of Eric, and gives it to Ariel as a surprise.

No.

Flounder you weigh like maybe a pound. You're not capable of single handedly dragging a huge statue that is 9264018203 times bigger than you.

Alrighty. Moving on.

Ariel you bag of wet hair. I know you're only sixteen but stop acting like a whiny baby.