I woke up today, he got the rest.

The good outweighs the bad

Just because we may come from a hard life doesn't mean that's the end of the story, and just because we have bad days doesn't mean we don't have good ones. For every bad experience I've had, I can think of three good things that followed behind it.

I went in for a loan one day and got turned down. I was so mad because I had a bill I needed to pay and my check was short. I had lost all hope because I called around to family and nobody had what I needed. I was like damn I'm messed up. I went to the lottery and spent everything I had left in my purse which was like another 100$ because in my mind I thought surely I could get back what I lost. I was wrong! Imma give you some advice about playing the lottery - "never go down there because you're down on your luck. You liable to come out worse than before!" -Shay

I got turned down for the loan but a couple days later I decided to try another loan place. In my mind I'm thinking, if I get turned down again well imma just be delinquent on the bill theres not much I can do. I went to the second place and was approved. Where someone says no somebody else may say yes you just have to try, but if I gave up searching for another place scared of another rejection, I would have never seen my APPROVAL. Another way to navigate life as I said in the story description, we can't worry about what we can't control that does no good. I can't dwell on what I can't change because I simply can't change it. When I was sitting in my jail cell my cell mate was a older lady that came in that had never been arrested. I remember her name being Jackie and she was in a frantic and she kept asking me all types of questions but I had never been in jail either so I didn't know how to help her. She was telling me how she had this boyfriend and he loved her so much. They were staying at hotels both struggling but he made sure she was safe and had food and all the other necessities. He made sure she was very safe so much so that he gave her an unregistered stolen gun to keep on her for protection. She was a frequent walker so the way she explained it to me was that he worried some homeless people would bother her when she was walking and it was just supposed to be a scare tactic. Well, she happened to get a ride from someone and she wasnt supposed to get a ride because he warned her about that and they got pulled over..imma stop the story here because you can guess how Jackie ended up in jail. Well, the guy wasn't taking her calls and she was saying well surely he hasnt forgot about me. Apparently she used her free call to tell him she was in jail and he scolded her and even joked about how she maybe needed to stay inside to learn her lesson. She told me he was supposed to be on his way to the bail bondsman but him scolding her made her worry he wasn't gonna do what he said. She cried herself to sleep that one night I stayed. She had only been in for 2 hours to my 12 hours and I told her that I didnt know this boyfriend and I didn't know what he was gonna do or if he was gonna leave her in there until she could see a judge or what, but I said what I do know is life is unpredictable but I do believe that if you say he cares and this was just a mistake by you being here, God will work it out. Sometimes when we're going through a storm we want people to come run in with the umbrella to come save us so we don't get wet but in a storm sometimes we have to stand in it until it's over. While we don't know how long it's gonna last or why it's raining, we can't do anything but wait it out.

Well when I told her that she got alright and when I went to go look Jackie up, her mugshot was gone meaning she had been released and that brought comfort to me because she was so scared. Even with me being as scared as she was I offered her a piece of advice I live by even now. I hope wherever Jackie is right now she is okay and I pray that she found adequate housing and transportation and that she doesn't let this one mistake shape her or determine her future. Amen.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm a devout Christian and that I go to church every Sunday or Saturday. I was into voodoo black magic and spells whichever way you want to put it. I had wrote a few spells and I even used some. I thought I was powerful and that I was helping myself and others but it was evil I was playing with and opening evil portals into my house and it took over my family. Being born to a Haitian father, I wanted to embrace my roots and culture. I had always been interested in voodoo and I became even more encouraged when my first ever spell I cast went right, but then it went terribly wrong. You may not believe in voodoo, but just like God is good, there are demons who are bad. Just like when you pray to the Lord, he answers your prayers. It may take a while and it may not be in the form you want it, but it comes. It's the same with black magic. You can ask Satan for the things and he will grant it but best believe you will regret it. He will twist your dreams and wishes until you have sacrificed something far greater than what you asked for and then what you asked for is gone and then you are left with nothing. That's the difference between God and Satan. God will bless you abundantly you just have to pray and maintain your blessings, do right and right will come along. With Satan nothing he gives you is good. When I messed with black magic the last time,  Bad things started occuring in my home. My kids were even telling me they were seeing black figures and my altar was set up in my den. One day my kids heard a knock at the front door and they know their not allowed to answer the door without an adult present so they looked out the window so they could identify who was there so they could at least tell me who. They ran to me where I was asleep In my den right by my altar. I was jolted out of my sleep by them pulling on me and trying to get me to the door they seemed worried. I went to the door but no one was there. I scolded them for waking me up but they were convinced they heard a knock and they saw who knocked. My husband said he heard a knock too, I was the only one who hadn't but my husband was asleep just like me. He described it as loud and aggressive from our bedroom like a police knock and the kids who were in the living room described it as soft. Very strange I thought and then my daughter told me who knocked she described the man to a T. What he was wearing, what he looked like to what he was holding in his hand. She said he was a talk black man, around 30 she described and he was wearing a black suit with a red bow tie. He had a black beard and his hair was cut low. I thought that was strange attire for anyone to be wearing in our neighborhood but it was Sunday so I thought someone maybe came to deliver a church pamphlet or the word of God. She said he was holding a paper but I couldnt wrap my mind around how when I went outside, there was nobody to be found. He couldn't have left that fast but he was indeed gone. Me and my husband were worried but just the night before I had summoned the "gatekeeper" Papa Legba and his colors were red and black just like my kids described the strange man at the door. I believe with all my heart he came to my house because that's when all the strange things started happening. He came to my house and he was let in, BY ME. I was possessed by three demons at the same time they jumped inside my body. I ended up stabbing my husband by accident and didn't realize I did, I was not acting like myself. I let something sinister inside my home and it became so bad I didn't want to come home anymore. I couldn't bring myself to stay inside the house I lost everything as a result of hurting my husband my kids were deeply affected. I immediately cut out drugs (marijuana) and alcohol because I noticed that my feelings would be heightened during me not being sober and it made it really easy for me to be possessed by the demons.