Falling in Love with Fashion

FILWF Ch 4

After I'm done attending all my call backs, and nailing four out of five of them. I decide to go back to my old apartment that I use to share with Jessica. If I didn't have to pick up some cloths I'd avoid the visit all together, but I have no choice.
I stand in front of the white door, and already Buck his barking like a mad dog in the background. "Shh." Jessica says from inside the apartment, "Buck, sit damn it," She tells him in a stern tone of voice and all I want to do is laugh. She's not the assertive type when it comes to him; it's even hard for me to take her seriously when she uses her serious voice with him.

Buck finally quiets down and seconds later the locks are being undone. Before Jessica can hold him back, Buck jumps up on my chest. He's wagging his tail uncontrollably, as he pants and then gets back on all fours and begins backing up while still wagging his tail.

"Hey man, I missed you too bud." I crouch down in front of him to caress the side of his jaw. "How has he been behaving?" I ask Jess.

"Like this. He thinks everyone that knocks on the door is you and he goes crazy." She explains while she leans up against the wall.

I stand up, "Once I get my own place you won't have to deal with him anymore."

Jessica raises a brow and nods her head once. I can tell me mentioning moving out doesn't please her. She steps aside and I start walking in the direction of the room we once shared together. To be honest coming back here gives me flash backs. Reliving the night I caught her with Jay doesn't help me feel any better. Walking up to the open living room the way I did that night when I came back from Germany and found her with that son of a bitch, makes me hate her even more. I glance at her through my peripheral and I still can't believe she had the balls to cheat on me in our apartment.

"Are you okay?" She asks while I'm looking in the direction of my leather sofas.

Taking a deep breath I push the thought aside, "I just came to pick up a few things. Then I'll be out of your way." I tell her as I continue past the living room and make a left to our bedroom.

When I walk in, I can feel Jessica right behind me. She shuts the door, but I don't look over my shoulder. My bedroom has not changed since I left. It's a bit messier, but I sum that up as her morning our break up. I glance in the direction of our king size bed and wonder if she fucked him there as well. This whole apartment makes me sick to my stomach. If I had a dickhead mentality I would have set all her shit on fire, but that's not the kind of man I'm. Unfortunately, my mother taught me to maintain the gentleman syndrome.

The thing that tells me no one has been here; is the fact that my side of the room is as I left it, clean. My sneakers are lined up all by order of color. My night stand had our picture, the alarm clock is in its place and the anniversary letter she had given me this year sits behind it.

"Can we talk?" She asks me as I make my way to the closet.

"What about?" I ask her.

"Us," She pauses, and I look over my shoulder at her.

"I know last night I was extremely drunk, but I'm sober now." She explains like it's going to change the results in our relationship.

"Okay," I shrug my shoulders letting her know I really didn't care. I face the closet again and tell her, "Even with you sober my answer remains the same. I'm done." And I turn my attention back to picking out cloths for the week.

I hear the bed squeak, and I take a deep breath. In the back of my mind as I took the cab over here. I knew she was going to try and corner me to change my mind, and she was going to try until she gets tired. Me ... I wasn't going to continue wasting my breath on the same subject. There is not point because no matter what this apartment is tainted with the memory of her and Andre. And, no matter what I will never trust her again.