Falling in Love with Fashion

Ch 8 'Unexpected Pain'

Twelve pm ... that's what it reads on my Rolex.  Solitude is one of those things that makes you feel like you're sinking in a deeper hole then what is really present. All sound is lost, your thought's begin to merge with darkness and the feeling of wanting to just disappear. It all goes hand in hand, grief, anger, sadness, disappointment ... It all coincides with each other. Tonight is that day, Jack didn't quiet my anxiety. He amplified it.

I take a pull of what feel's like my first cigarette, but in reality is my fifth cancer stick in the past ten minute's.  Nothing screamed like 'stress' than an individual who begins to chain smoke. The different contrast of people, along with the busy traffic, lights of multiple parts of the city reminds me how this isn't even my home. This has become a place of constant growth, break downs, adaptation, and now a place that will remind me of how I lost someone I once saw myself getting married to.

Inhaling deeply, I reach for the bottle of water, and unscrew the cap. My mind was so far gone, that I don't even know if I am thinking straight. All I know is that the scenery seems spectacular. All the contrast of colors played this lovely depressing symphony, to the point my eyes begin to water. As depressed as I might feel at the moment, I was in love. Somehow the feeling of love begins to feel fulfilling. I am thankful. What for? I have no idea, but god had a weird way of making us feel grateful in the most ungrateful of situations. Despite the grief consuming me, I feel grateful.

Taking a sip of my water, I look straight ahead only to find someone is blocking the lovely symphony of colors displayed for me to admire. As the figure gets closer, and I focus on the body. She takes me by surprise. Instantly emotions rush through me like an electrical current. As I try desperately to contain all of my emotions I lower my gaze, and quickly wipe the tears away.

"Hey." The beautiful song escaping her lips brought me to a state of appreciation. What are the odd's of Levi finding me by the fountain in Union Square?

I clear my throat, "Hey, I wanted to apologize for not making it to the night club tonight." I flick the cigarette butt opposite her direction.

She chuckles, "I was going to go, 'She takes a seat beside me, "But, I wanted to walk around. Then I realized I didn't have your number, and I actually walked around the Verizon store hoping I'd bump into you somehow."

I know what you are thinking ... fate.

"Well, ... " I clear my throat, and look into her big brown eyes, "I'm glad you bumped into me."

Levi smiles shyly and turns her face away from me.  "So I am."

She turns to face me, "So, what brings you to Union Square?" She asked as she placed her shoulder purse on her lap.

The fact that my ex-girlfriend is dying ... that's what I want to tell her. However, that will make her ask me a million and one questions that I am not prepared to answer at the moment which I don't have the answers to. Instead I give her a less in depth version, "Just needed to clear my head."

She nods, "I respect that. I do the same whenever I need to reflect."

"Is that what you're doing now?" I ask rubbing the palms of my hands together.

"Maybe ... " She giggles, then shrugs her shoulders, " Honestly, I just wanted to be inspired. Walking downtown has a way of doing that for me."

"What do you need inspiration for?"

"My writing."

"You write?" I try to act surprised, but I've already heard her poetry. Still, I want to find out more about her, and quite my own thoughts.