Stay in your Lane (On Hold)

Chapter Eight ~ Hayride

Chapter Eight

The hayride consisted of Billy Ray's big red tractor pulling a trailer full of hay bales. A grand tour of the same shit we saw out the window anytime we drove anywhere. But people did it every year like it was required. Like how I ate fruit salad on Thanksgiving, even though mayonnaise with marshmallows was about as pleasant as Mama on a bad hair day.

The tractor chugged to a stop in front of us, then idled as the current occupants exited.

We waited until the crowd had cleared and were the last to get on. We ended up at the back, against the door, squished together on the same bale of hay.

"This is exciting," Travis said.

I snorted.

Chatter filled the shadowy figures around us. It was so dark, that's all they were. Despite being surrounded, it felt like we were alone.

The tractor lurched forward, and Billy Ray drove at a glacial speed through the field, down the path, around the pumpkin patch. Leftover Christmas lights had been strung up through the trees. A group of teenagers at the front of the trailer laughed raucously at something one of them had said.

Travis's thumb lightly trailed over mine. Slight. Barely a touch at all, but the contact ignited my skin. He bent his head toward mine. "So, what's ten grand get a man nowadays?"

"Don't be a perve."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

I didn't need to see his grin to know that it was there. I kept my face averted, my chin high, feigning interest in the distant dark woods. It was still hard to believe that he was home. Even more so that he'd just spent a fortune to be here with me. I hated how happy I was that he had, because I still didn't trust it.

It felt like a trap. Like he would sweep me off my feet, only to disappear again. I couldn't help but feel like he'd done everything out of spite. His revenge for what I'd said to him. The PBA. The big fancy truck. Then coming here and pretending none of that last night together had happened.

"Tell the truth," he murmured. "You missed me just a little."

I took a slow breath. I had missed him. I'd missed him like I missed Daddy being sober, and Mama being Mrs. Allen, and my world being unbroken. Travis had been as ingrained into my life as bowling, and I'd never appreciated him the way I should have. Whether he was here to hurt me or not, I couldn't lie to myself. Not anymore. "I missed you a lot."

I looked at him, barely distinguishable in the dark. I'd acted worse than Justin the last time I'd seen him.

Flashes of that night resurfaced, more vivid with him here beside me. His hands on my hips. His lips on my neck. His harsh breaths. Our frantic kiss. Then me, an idiot, shoving him away. Spewing the worst thing I could think to say to get him to leave me alone.

"Girls like me don't end up with trailer trash, Travis Baker!"

I hadn't meant it. Not a single word. I'd been angry, and as usual, I'd blamed him for yet another disaster. Mostly, I'd been afraid. Afraid of the way my life kept falling apart. Afraid I'd lose him too, how Daddy had lost Mama, how I'd lost them both. And because of that fear, I'd inadvertently made my nightmare come true.

"I didn't mean it," I whispered.

"You didn't miss me?"

"Not that." I pulled my hand from his and gently ran it up his arm.

He shivered beneath my touch. The silence deepened, thickened, becoming a bubble that blocked out the rest of the world.

"What I said. . .that night. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, Travis. I went to your place the next day. I wanted to apologize, but you were gone. You just disappeared."