lolita

chapter thirteen

I couldn't tell how much it took for me to realise that I was driving in the wrong direction, misty blurres of the mournful morning taking my breath away while I was savouring the road as if it was my last ray of moonshine
I happened to arrive there late,  it was one hour before midnight when I crouched down the old way down to my house. For a moment, I forgot I was even there and the exact reason I was there.
A daring, silent chirp of sparrows lulled my mind into a slumber and the images that were deeply imprinted inside of my mind were reappearing, tantalising me with their prescence.
Oh,let alone that flame that burned inside of my chest, that kiss deeply curved inside of my heart. But that being itself which had such a strong hold on my soul.
I had scraped the surface of my home for every coin I could've found useful. Frowning at the ammount of money I had collected, carefully folding it in a few stashes after ridicilous ammounts of counting I finally let myself breathe in the freshness of air of the city that I loved so very much, that even when it failed me, I could not bring myself to be unforgiving.
The trip to the past of the yellow knee socks and canned beers, old swings and lipstick stains on dry knuckles.

"The starry sky could be seen from where you watch, because  the mist was blocking my sight, and the silver Moon and the golden stars, making it unbelievably hard for me to reach out for them, to ask, to plead for you.
Could you be pleading for me?"

Impatience was chewing on my insides, the desire to finally feel him close, to soak in glory of possesing him fully, the urge to stop holding myself back was tormenting. I couldn't wait for our collapse because God had finally gave a chance. And I was prepared to let the flames burn me alive just to bathe in those dark orbs and feel the warmth of his skin close to mine. For my sweet, sweet Lolita, in all of it's whiny, lace sleeved glory.
The dream of my youth.

- Well,  I am afraid I don't remember any Kim Taehyungs around her family - a woman focused her gaze on the space between my eyebrows.
- Actually, I am her cousin.  Quite distant.
I was almost ready to repent for everything that I've done when I saw the look of concern on her face.
"My poor child", she muttered to herself  as she was going through my paperwork. I gulped. - Up for coffee?
- Thanks, but I'll pass.
-  Although I know you should pick him up soon, I think you should take a rest . It's dangerous to drive for miles and miles in such restless state.
She was chewing the insides of her mouth, so it was pretty hard to understand what she was saying
- I wish you all the luck, mr. Kim. Do remind yourself that you are a saviour, I do not even want to imagine what would happen to that tortured young soul if it wasn't for your generous nature.

Drive to the valley was peaceful and calm, as I tried to control my tempting feelings, and do it at the normal speed, trying to keep myself content.
I clinged to the every little detail of the scenery, trying to control the urge to keep this moment in my heart as special as I could, as I was burning. I wanted the sight of him embrodiered in my chest.
As I entered the area, hidden deep inside of the woods, I saw a few girls and boys chasing each other behind the trees, and heard the warmth of their voices and giggles.
White shirts and tops, pale shorts and ties were swaying all around.
I had already thought it was going to be hard to find the one I was looking for, here, where I've gotten plenty of them.
- Looking for someone, mister?- a middle aged ravenette approached me, holding a script and a tiny pencil.
I almost forgot how to speak.
- My name is Kim Taehyung. I'm looking for an... aquaintance. - with the speed of the thunder I swallowed the lie.
- And that would be...?
- Jungkook.
- May I ask what you have to do with him?
- That's okay, he's shagging my mom. -
her words suddenly got cut off by the not-so-subtle whispering that not only caused suprise, but discomfort and tension. 
- Oh, Jungkook, what did I say about that? - she smiled and patted his head gently, pointing at me.
Him. Carrying his little suit case around, (struggling to, better to be said?). Fixing his tie.
His hair roaming around his face.
He hadn't even lifted up his gaze to mine, he  hadn't even greeted me when he came to us.
But I still felt that warm feeling in my chest, I still felt so enamovered by his  appeareance.
I simply saw him again. After all that happened, all we passed through, finally it was just him and me, without any boundaries.
I sighed in relief.
The woman looked at me while the innocent nymphette blew a baloon from it's bubblegum.
I coughed to cover it up and I saw him smirking while he was packing his things up in the van.
- Hope you had a great time. - the women bowed down happily and patted his head once more which I clearly could tell he was uncomfortable with.
I barely resisted the desire to grab him and wrap him in my embrace, and hold him tight and never let go. But I remembered the complexity of the situation.
We successfully stuffed the van and I began driving without any word being told further.
Sometimes I would glance at him, to check on what he was doing.
But he was just starring through the window, not paying attention to me.
After a few moments, it was obvious that I couldn't hold it in.
- So, did you have a good time at the camp?
- Uh-huh.
- Do you regret leaving?
- Un-un.
- Talk to me, Kooks, stop grunting. Met some new friends?
- You mean... - he made a pause in talking while he licked the bubblegum pieces of his lips. - Some new friends I will never ever see again. Good point.
- I missed you, Kooks - I smiled and patted his head gently with my palm before he removed it. - Missed you a lot.
- Well, I didn't miss you. In fact, I was being very unfaithful to you, but I won't tell you anything about it because it doesn't matter anyway and it seems like you don't care about me anymore. - he rolled his eyes and leaned his head onto my shoulder to my suprise.
- Why would you think that I stopped caring about you?
- Well, you haven't kissed me yet, have you? - he whispered.
Inner loving, inner moaning.
I parked the van right beetwen two oaks and I already felt him jumping up to my lap. 
His lips rubbed against mine slowly and tensely, making me gasp into his mouth from the contact.
I gently teased his bottom lip, tasting his mint flavoured saliva that was emerging from his mouth.
My hands held his waist tightly while he was groping my nape.
He suddenly pulled away and jumped back to his seat before I had the chance to react.
- What...? - I frowned, a little bit confused at him looking at me like I am an imbecile and then I heard a sound of a car passing by.
I turned around.
Police.
- Excuse me, have you seen a blue sivan passing right next to you? -the officer asked me, while fixing his cap.
I already felt his innocent hand on my not-so-innocent thigh.
- Blue? We haven't seen any sivans around here, sir. - he climbed up on my lap again, "accidentaly" brushing my crotch, I bit my tongue trying not to let any suspicious sounds out.
- We really didn't. - I added. - We've been driving down the road for about a...
- Maybe because it was more like purple. Are you sure it wasn't red? - he cutted me off while jokingly slapping my cheeks while we giggled, cleansing of the tension and the frown of the man's face
-  That's alright, well... thank you, anyway. - he mumbled as he drove off with a slight curve on his lips.