BALANCE || Hyunlix

Chapter 22 - Blonde

From the moment Hyunjin was added to the group chat, he was unexpectedly relieved. Even if he didn't text with Felix like before, at least he could see how he was and what he was doing this way. And he was happy whenever he saw Felix sending laughing emojis or sending memes and tiktoks to others. And he had to admit that he also missed the others and their bickering.

He didn't contribute much to the conversation himself, but he didn't seem to mind. The boys were constantly fine-tuning the details of the New Year's Eve party, and even though Hyunjin was looking forward to it, he was also extremely nervous about meeting Felix. He couldn't imagine how he'd be able to look him in the eye after that heated conversation, let alone after avoiding him. He missed Felix. On the one hand, he'd like to put everything behind him and accept the fact that he desires Felix, but on the other hand, he was terribly afraid of it. What if someone finds out? He's not prepared for the reaction of those around him, nor does he know what it means to have a relationship, let alone gay relationship.

Having to face his parents every day didn't make it easy for him. Not that they ever asked him anything, or ever said anything outright homophobic, but even so, Hyunjin felt like he had some terrible secret from them that was eating him up from the inside. So, he wanted to go back to the dorm soon and as if Jisung sensed it, he called him one afternoon.

"Hey dude, what's up? When are we going to hang out together?" Jisung asked energetically.

"Well, well, look who's calling. Minho doesn't have time anymore?" Hyunjin teased him. He missed this bickering too.

"Come on, don't be jealous baby." He laughed.

"Ha ha, well, I don't know when, I'm pretty much thinking about going back to the dorm, what about you?"

"You read my mind. But dad said he couldn't drop me off until tomorrow, he's on a business trip." Jisung complained.

"You can't ride a train?" Hyunjin scoffed at him.

"Of course I can! But why would I do that?'

"To get life experience."

"Look, I'm thinking, don't you want to come over? I'm here alone, my mom and my brother went to see some relatives and I made an excuse that I was going to school soon. You can sleep here, and my dad will drop us off tomorrow." He suggested to him suddenly.

"You know I'm not traumatized by trains like you, right?" Hyunjin asked jokingly, hearing Jisung's frustrated growl on the phone.

"So are you coming or not?" He pressured him.

"Sure, I'll text you when I'm on my way." Hyunjin finally agreed and ended their call.

***

Felix gave up on any attempt to text with Hyunjin. He obviously wasn't interested in it anymore. He won't lie, he was upset because he didn't understand. How can someone one minute text you that they like the idea of you kissing them and the next minute turn three hundred and sixty degrees and be so cold.

At the same time, a voice of reason crept into his head, sounding suspiciously like Chan. Maybe Hyunjin really just needed time and space. And Felix was willing to give it to him. He honestly didn't even know what to say to him now. He dreaded the moment when they'd see each other on New Year's Eve. In the evening, he and Chan are going back to Korea, so that moment was inexorably approaching.

But until then, he has adopted a strategy of trying to have as much fun with others as possible to distract himself. He was glad that at least someone was communicating with him and if Hyunjin could see it, all the better. Maybe he'll realize what great fun he's missing out on.