I'm The Bad Guy, Duh!

Happy Birthday

~ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ~ Romans 5:8

Welcome to chapter one!

Of course since I'm changing things up in the characters— I'm also changing their human appearances to what I think they would look like! Don't judge but you're welcome to comment on what you would think they would look like, but as always I love reading you're guys comments— they're funny!

And you guys are probably how I'm going to do this but I have somewhat of an idea. But did you know that Wolf's actual name is Mason "Moe" Wolf? Surprisingly, the name fits.

But what's more funny is that Snake's first name is Hubert 😂😂
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"Stop!"

"I'll stop if you just explain it to me, because I don't—"

"Would you please just drop it?"

The two voices went back and forth, one smooth and teasing while the other was rough and condensing— one of the man's mid-tone tan colored hand waving around before he stirred his black coffee with a spoon.

"All right, all right— fine, fine, fine, fine." He said, dropping the spoon on the table with a clank and picking up his mug, glancing at the city paper between them with little interest— the words 'MUTATING METEORITE ON DISPLAY; At The Gala For Goodness' as the the title. "Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground."

"Good."

It was silent for a moment before the man snorted in incredulousness, his unkempt black hair fanning his vitiligo face as he looked at his friend with a sharp grin.

"But, I mean, come on, Snake!" He laughed, causing his friend to groan at his persistence. "everybody loves birthdays!"

"You got decorations, you got balloons," His dark brown eyes shined with excitement. "You got parties and cake!"

"Look, Wolf" He sighed, his light brandy colored skin reflecting in the sun through the window as he leaned forward. "I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm-I'm not a cake guy."

"Seriously, though," Wolf's grin dropping, his voice lowering into a mutter as he squinted at the birthday boy. "you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake!"

Snake didn't even have to think about it, throwing up the forgotten spoon with his foot— considering he didn't have arms. "Guinea pig."

"Oh," Wolf groaned, his crisp white suit crinkling as he flopped back into his seat with an eye roll. "again with the guinea pig!"

"What is your obsession with those?!" He shook his head, quickly resting back on the table on his elbow as he grabbed the sugar and passed it over to Snake before pointing at him with a accusing finger. "I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig."

"Wrong!" Snake denied loudly with a sharp smirk of his own, pouring the entire glass of sugar into his coffee before slamming it back on the table. "Snakes have impeccable taste buds." He pushed his foot to his chest for emphasis. "I can taste air."

"Aren't we human?" Wolf jabbed with a scoff, looking around as if he could actually see the oxygen they were breathing. "But, seriously, air?"

"Yes. Air." Snake thickly nodded, lapping his forked tongue as if he was slurping a slushee before slipping it back in with a pleasured expression. "Mmm. Nice."