Chapter 4

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"Mom!" Westley said as Dr. Crusher walked on the bridge.

"It's good to see you, Westley." She said putting her hand on his shoulder.

"How is the captain?" Westley asked.

"He's not having an easy time." She answered, and gestured towards Riker's ready room. Both Riker and Admiral Hanson followed her.

"How is he, doctor?" Hanson asked. "Can we see him?"

"He's not himself. He hasn't fully recovered from the damage they did to his brain and endocrine system."

"Is he a threat to the ship?" Hanson asked.

"No. He just wants to be held while he cries like a baby. He'll frequently go into a complete panic from flashbacks, and once he calms down from the panic he's in my arms in tears. He'll eventually calm himself, only to start the cycle again a few minutes later. It reminds me of how he was during the mind meld with Sarek, but there's no clear end point here. It's no better when he's asleep. Unmedicated, he wakes up screaming every hour or two, then cries himself back to sleep. I gave him a psychotropic sedative, and that helped, but he's in agony, and there's nothing I can do to help beyond keeping him drugged to the point of being half conscious, and being there for him as a friend. He's not a threat to the ship, but he may be a threat to himself."

"You really think Jean-Luc Picard would hurt himself?" Hanson asked.

"His brain is half scrambled and he's severely traumatized. He asked me not to treat him knowing it would be fatal, so yes."

"Doctor you didn't..." Riker said.

"I can't rule out his still being under an alien influence, so I ignored his request and sedated him." She answered.

"Is this a case where Troi may be better qualified to help?"

"Long term, yes. She's with him now." Crusher answered. "The drugs I've been using to keep him calm and stop his nightmares are dangerous for long term use, but hopefully they'll calm him enough to make her job easier."

"I know you've been spending a lot of time with the captain, how is sickbay doing?" Riker asked.

"They're managing fine without me. Some doctors from other ships have joined the team."

"I hate to say it, but this ship needs it's CMO at her post right now. You have the most critically important job on the ship at the moment, and you can't just spend all your time with one patient, even if he is our captain and dear friend. If he needs a friend, can others step in for that?" Riker said.

"I don't know." Crusher answered, knowing he didn't want to be seen this way with others, but Riker was right, there were around 40 other critical patients onboard (a number that kept changing as they found more injured and some recovered out of critical status) and she shouldn't be spending all of her time with one of them. "He also needs a doctor. Usually he would be in sickbay with everyone else, but I doubt he'd let us treat him there. He has no idea what is going on there, and I'd like to keep it that way until he's had more of a chance to heal."

"I wouldn't mind going to see him, even if he's not in good shape and needs a friend." Admiral Hanson said.

"Hearing you don't hold him responsible may help." Crusher said. "He blames himself, that's a big part of the problem."

"Should we take turns staying with him?" Riker asked.

"That may not be a bad idea." Crusher answered. "I'm sure he doesn't want to be seen like this though. There are only a few people on board he will be comfortable seeing in this condition, and he can't be left alone."

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