Motive

chapter-3 friend? maybe¿

He wrote on his paper as the teacher spoke, I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. His Carmel colored skin, his pencil writing the words down as a piece of his black hair fell onto his face, he fixated with his air putting his fingers through it taking it out his face, his brown glinting eye's. He side eyed me as i looked away. shit shit i store for to long. I started writing on my paper my heart beating out my chest. I started blanking out as i felt a finger tap on my shoulder, I jumped up looking at him, his brown eyes staring into mine. "do you need help?" he asked softly his voice echoing my mind. "um.. uh um" i tried speaking trying to form words not even knowing what i wanted to say. "n-no thank you!" i said kindly, he store at me looking away and going back to his work. I felt my bones go cold, why did i say that? i thought sighing, staring at the white paper, and my teacher at her desk on her computer.

I drew little doodles on my paper trying my best not to look over at the boy next to me. I felt untouched with reality, I felt odd like plastic. I felt myself lose connection with life falling into an abyss. I jumped up when the boy next to me tapped on my shoulder, "Waylen right? class is about to end." he said darting his big brown eyes at me. "oh, thank you" I said looking at him, I could feel my curly hair I could feel how bad it looked. "hey, um what lunch period do you have?" he said, fiddling with his fingers. "4th period." I said looking down then back up at him, "cool. i do to, can i sit with you? I don't know anyone" he let out a awkward chuckle. "yeah" i replied. "cool" he smiled "cool" i smiled back.
The bell rang As i grabbed my black backpack getting up from the chair connected to the desk. We met eyes in the hallway, waving a goodbye to one another. I let out a smile, putting in my headphones and listening to a soft song, my ears feeding on the vibrations. I walked the hallway, going to my next class wich was a credit recovery class.

I never really liked my credit recovery class. I thought it was quite boring, I mean every class is boring, but that one is pure despair. I did the work on my computer, thinking of lake. I never thought often but i was thinking of us becoming good friends, like a friend i can be myself? I mean I have alexia, but shes missed out on so much of my life. I guess i bore her, I would bore lake to I guess. I sighed my fingers typing, oh I hated my fat fingers, I hated my arms, my face, my stupid fucking curly hair. I wanted to break down, I wanted to pull this stupid hair out my head. But I didn't let those thoughts win, but I wanted them to. I listened to the music going through my headphones, sighing getting tired of the same few songs i listened to every day. I wondered how life would be, how life would be If I still had my mom. I tried to make the thoughts go away. But I missed her, we didn't have much memories, but I know she loved me, the only person who's ever loved me.

I herd the bell ring, meaning it was time for chemistry. I grabbed my bag getting up and walking to my sophomore classroom. I sat down hearing my teacher speak. He was fed up, fed up with teaching with the disrespectful kids with everything. I could feel his anger, he just wanted to get home to his child. She had cancer. I overheard him on the phone, when I was late to class. I could hear the pain in his voice, I sat getting my computer out, to start the assignment. I popped in my earbuds sighing at the same music i've had for months, I was starting to get tired of this song going in and out my ears. Lunch was after this period, I was excited but also scared. I herd the bell ring grabbing my bookbag and leaving the dark classroom.

I walked hearing the faint conversations, mixed with my music. I sighed at the slow walkers trying to cut in front of them but missing as always. I looked around my school, the lighting was dim, It was sad sometimes. I reached the lunchroom, walking in checking in with my id, and seeing the raven haired boy, I locked eyes with him as he waved to me smiling. I walked over to him looking at him, "hey!" I spoke. "hey, are you grabbing lunch?" He asked smiling at me, "I might pass, can you grab me an apple tho?" I asked looking at him he nodded grabbing me a green apple smiling at me. We walked to the seats hearing the faint conversations as we sat down. "where did you come here from?" I asked shocked i made the first conversation. "Im from Minnesota" He said taking a bite out his meal his lips moving up and down.

"oh, my mom has visited everywhere" I said taking a bite of my apple the slight sour taste coating my mouth. "really? has she been to Antarctica?" Lake asked I let out a giggle "Probably not" I smiled "you should ask her" he said chuckling. "oh. I cant" I said avoiding eye contact, "why?" he asked a bit of sympathy in his voice. "because shes um, out of town" I said lying to the Carmel colored man. "hm, well got any siblings?" he asked looking at me as i store mindlessly at my apple. "nope, i always wanted some company" I said smiling, "I have 2 siblings, My annoying older sister Delphine, and my other older sister diane." he said talking into space "i guess they didn't give you a D name huh?" I giggled. I felt sorta happy with lake, I truly hoped I didn't bore him.

"do you have insta? or something" he asked smiling. "yeah, here you go" I said showing him my account, he added me as we looked at each-other. It felt nice to have a friend.