Motive

Chapter 4- July 4th

I herd the faint singing, sounded so angelic like an angel or a goddess. Her voice echoing the dark hallway, I followed the noises like a dog with bacon. Her voice the most prettiest thing I've herd. I walked the dark hallway, I was closer and closer to the voice. The voice felt like home, I felt my shoes hit the solid ground. I felt as if the hallway got farther and farther. I went faster the hallway going faster my legs speeding up, at this point I was running as fast as I could possibly go, but the hallway only grew larger, and my heart only sunk deeper. I felt mentally insane running for a door that i would never reach. I knew this dream, and I hated every moment of it. I knew that voice, the voice of a angel, my mother.

I woke up in a hot sweat I store at the ceiling my breathing repressing. I thought, I thought about my mom. Letting my mind slip into a vivid memory.

Her long hair sways in the breathless air, it was cold that day. She smiled her leg overlapping onto her other, she looked at me her gorgeous green eyes. It was fourth of July, and we were at a cookout. My cusions didn't wanna play with me, so I sat there coloring with chock. I sighed, her face going from a dazzled smile to an empathetic frown. She didn't like that nobody bothered to play with me. I drew a colorful butterfly, smiling at my 'masterpiece' she got up from sitting on the brown table, walking towards me. She bent down and smiled, "a butterfly huh?" she asked enthusiastically. "yeah!" I looked at her, I always admired her straight hair. In my little eyes, it was just so angelic. "what should we name it?" she asked. I looked at her, my curly hair getting messier and messier by the depth wind. "Timothy!" I said giggling her dark emerald eyes embracing my emotions. "timothy? what a silly name." I looked at her my eyes dropping, "oh I'm kidding baby" she said tickling my small frame. "Im just joking" she said us laughing together, "theres that smile I love" she said her fingers going through my reckless hair.

"come on buddy, its time to eat." She said pulling my hand softly. "Im not hungry" I said sighing. "You haven't ate all day cmon way" a small tear fell down my face, as I tried to look away from my sympathetic mother. "whats wrong?" she asked putting her frail hands on my chin eyeing me to look at her. "They make fun of me" I said pulling away from her touch. My salty tears falling onto the ground, messing up my drawn butterfly, the colors dispersing on the hard ground. Her face shocked, a small tear falling down her sorrow face. "there wrong, your so handsome waylen. Mommy loves you, daddy loves you, thats all that matters. Fuck them" my mom didn't like swearing around me, but I guess she felt she needed to. "swear!" I said giggling "don't tell daddy, I said that" she laughed as we shared a memory i'd remember forever. "Now lets eat, tell me if those kids say anything to you." she said smiling as we got up. We walked as i eyed the food. I herd lots of chatter, and loud distinct laughs. "what do you want baby?" she asked looking at the silver food holders. "hotdog and spaghetti" I said my brown dark eyes glowing. "no hamburger?" she asked, "no but we should get a hamburger for daddy." I said smiling at her. "good idea" she said as she made both our plates, we sat down as i looked at my white paper plate, plastered with food.

I took a bite of my hotdog smiling at the taste. I saw someone touch my mom's shoulder. Them reuniting from years of not seeing each other , "Alora, I haven't seen you in ages. How have you been?" she asked smiling, hugging my moms small waist. "well, I had waylen. He's a sweetheart" she smiled at the dark colored woman, she had dark red hair. "Awh how old is he?" she asked looking at me. My curly hair felt like it looked even messier, since now someone was looking at me. "he's 4 now" my mom said smiling as they walked away from me. I turned around, looking at my food. taking more bites. I looked up and saw a kid, brown hair and big brown eyes. He looked at me, his small wrists, his hands were attached on. pointing at my meal, "look at the fatty" he laughed, I looked away, I could feel a lump in my throat. It felt soar, I could feel my stomach turn, I wasn't hungry anymore.

"save some for us fatass" The young boy said, I could feel his spit splatter on face. My face was dense, I could feel the tears. They were close to falling, He store at me laughing, like something was funny. I looked over at my mom, she was still talking to the colored woman. I felt the tears fall down my face, I watched him laugh at me as more came. I couldn't breathe, my chest was going up and down, as the sounds of my cries came out. I could feel everyone look at me, I felt so alone, everything started to fade my hearing repressing. "whats wrong waylen!?" my mom asked, trying not to scare me, with her concerned raising voice. She looked at the brown eyed boy in front of me, I could see her anger almost feel it, almost consume it. "did that boy say something to you?!" she asked me in anger, I looked away. "Waylen." she said her voice deepening, I nodded I could feel how scared he was, but at that moment he deserved it.

I store at my dark wall, I stayed in my bed so much, one bright day it would sallow me. I missed my mom, her voice faded from my memory, I could only remember her voice from that vivid dream. I opened my phone scrolling, to find the multicolored icon. I opened instagram seeing lake had posted. I hovered my finger on his story hesitantly, I felt my heart beat out my chest, but I built up all my courage and pressed on it. It was the picture of the sky, with a song. "travel guide" by junodream, I took a deep breath and looked up the song on Spotify, I started listening. It was soft, It was vibrant. I felt as if i was walking on clouds, I laid my head on my pillow. Looking up at the ceiling, letting the music almost eat me. I could feel the music, could he feel it too? could my mom feel it? feel the music? could she hear it, like I could?