hearts of metal

lxiv. i'm tired

She awoke with a sweat soaked spine and a scream at the edge of her lips. Instead all that came out was a panicked gasp for air.

Instantly, the weight around her waist lifted. A hand cupped her cheek, but all she could see was the metal walls of a coffin. Caging her in on all sides.

Distantly, she heard murmurs. "Aelin, hey." Someone lightly shook her shoulders, then pulled her in tight.

Pine and snow. Aelin breathed it in, the nightmare ebbing from her mind. The cold feeling of metal eased into the silky sheets beneath her and warm skin pressed to hers.

Her breaths slowed and she nestled closer to Rowan.

"Better?" he asked gently.

She nodded and shifted, so she was entirely on his lap. He obliged her, and just continued to run his hand through her long hair.

"I love you."

"I love you," she whispered back.

She didn't fall asleep again after that, but she ended up laying over Rowan's chest. Listening to his heartbeat.

When morning broke, the two finally clambered out of bed.

Aelin's eyes were grainy and limbs sore as she stumbled around. Rowan hovered near her, as he had been for the past few days. After last night, she couldn't even find it in herself to be irritated at him being a mother hen.

No, everything about her felt sluggish. She was swimming through thick air, hardly able to move or breathe or think.

Still in her pajamas, she made it downstairs. Rowan grabbed her elbow and guided her away from the kitchen.

"We're meeting in the living room," he said.

She nodded and stuck closely to him as they made their way there. Voices echoed from inside, so everyone must have already been awake and down here.

Inside, her dad was standing against one wall. Aedion and Vaughan had the smaller couch to themselves, Lorcan had the armchair, and Fenrys and Connal occupied the larger couch.

Everyone's eyes flitted to her and Rowan as conversation halted. Fen was the first to greet her, with open arms. She immediately slid into his embrace, settling beside him on the couch.

When she wasn't with Rowan or Aedion these days, she was attached to Fenrys' side. Rowan sat down on the carpet in front of her, head leaning back onto her legs.

"What were we talking about?" Aelin asked.

An uneasy silence filled the air. Her dad cleared her throat, before saying, "just planning."

She raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"You remember the hellfire?" Lorcan said. Several people sent him warning glances, but he continued. "We have several barrel's worth with us and we know the locations of some of the Valg compounds."

She hummed. "It's sort of like a seven headed dragon though. No matter how many you attack, what you need is to take Maeve down. And their system of turning people." She quieted at the last part, memories churning in her brain.

Fen squeezed her shoulder tightly, bringing her back to reality.

"We don't have to talk about this," Aedion said.

Aelin scowled. "Yes, we do. You can't tiptoe around me forever. I want to know what you're planning, and I want to help."

Rhoe, albeit with an unhappy expression, nodded. "You're right. We need a plan that can take the Valg out in one go."

Vaughan clapped his hands once, drawing everyone's attention to him. "I say we get breakfast first, then meet in the office to plan."

And so they did.

It was late by the time they decided to stop, having all been crammed into Rhoe's office.

One by one, people began to file out.

Rowan hesitated, as Aelin stood up and looked expectantly at him. "Why don't you go ahead with the twins? I just have to talk to your dad for a sec."

"I can walk myself back to my room, thanks," she said drily.

Connal slung an arm over her shoulder, while Fenrys let out an affronted gasp. "Hear that, Fen? She doesn't want to spend time with us."

Aelin rolled her eyes, but let them lead her out of the room.

When it was just Rowan and Rhoe, the latter stood from his desk and moved to sit beside Rowan.

"How is she?" Rhoe asked.

Rowan shrugged, thinking back to this morning and how panicked she'd been. Her eyes fixed on nothing, glazed over like she was someplace else. Her short breaths and trembling hands as she snapped out of a memory. It had happened every night since they'd found her, and each time Rowan's heart stopped in his chest at the sound of her cries.

"She's...having trouble sleeping," is all Rowan said.

"And you?"

Another shrug. "Same thing." He was too scared he wouldn't wake up fast enough to comfort her or that he'd have nightmares of his own.

Rhoe placed a steady hand on his shoulder. "You know where to find me if you need anything."

He nodded, throat closing up uncomfortably. "Is it..." he cleared his throat. "I want to stay here, at least until we handle the situation with the Valg." He couldn't bring himself to be far away from Aelin for long. It was normal for Rowan to spend nights at Rhoe's, but not for a week straight. His aunt was already sending him angry text messages, unaware of the full situation.

"Of course. I'll talk to your aunt, don't worry."

"Thank you."

The two spent a few more minutes talking, while Rowan's eyes only grew heavier. Eventually, Rhoe sent him off to bed with a warm hug and a stern, "get some rest."

Rowan went to his own room to get ready for bed, before seeking out her room. He entered, only to find Aelin already snuggled under the comforter.

She perked up as she saw him, sending him a smile. "What did you talk about with my dad?"

"Nothing important."

He slid in beside her, chuckling as she immediately cozied up to him.

"Rowan?" she asked. Her head was placed on his shoulder. He hummed. "I'm tired."

He stilled. "I know," he said softly. "Try to sleep."

She shook her head, eyes closed. "Don't wanna have nightmares." Her voice was a low, sleepy murmur, like she was already half into dreams.

Rowan's heart stuttered. He didn't want her to have them either. Didn't want to have see her suffer or to have nightmares of his own anytime his eyes closed. "I'm here. We'll face them together."

"Together."

Then her breathing quieted, and he knew she'd already fallen asleep.

And he followed soon after.