Chapter 19

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I wasn't taught young how to be stone-cold, self-reliant, to hold myself high and poised, with a ready smile and a subtle charm ready to conquer the world. So I learned from early on to only cry behind close doors, on dim lights, without sound, to howl in pain silently, to break down without anyone knowing, and to never ask for help. Because when no one sees you suffering, do you really suffer? Much like, when a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I can always just pretend that whatever pains me never happened, and I can always go back and face the world pretending I'm okay.

- cynthia go // If a tree falls in a forest

It was the following morning, which was today, Friday. I would have stayed in bed and laid here indefinitely until my last breath on this earth, but I can't. I don't know how to express how I've been feeling since last night; I just don't want to see anyone, especially my father. What my mother had told me the night before, that he cares about me, had not reassured me. I believe my father despises me for reasons I don't understand.

I sat up and yawned loudly while stretching my arms out. I scratched my head and rubbed my eyes. I look around my bedroom; my curtains were closed, and the sunlight was trying to enter but was blocked. When my bedroom door knocked, I was about to get out of bed, groaning softly. I came to a halt, staring over at my door, not knowing who it could be.

"She's not here," I said, rolling my eyes, as I waited for whoever was on the other side of the door to leave, but instead opened the door to my bedroom.

I frowned and watched as that person entered, noticing it was my father, who was dressed in his formal business attire. I sighed deeply and averted my gaze from him. I crossed my arms and looked to the other side of my room, not wanting to look at him. I heard him approach me slowly and clear his throat.

"I am here to apologize to you about yesterday, I may have acted out of line." he said, attempted to sound sincere and found ways to make himself seem remorseful

I kept my gaze away from him and shifted my nose around, feeling the tension in the air. "You didn't just act out of line," I said, slowly turning my head around and narrowing my eyes at him.

I went on. "You acted as if I wasn't your daughter, as if I didn't matter to you. You pretended as if that unimportant phone call was far more important than what I had to say "I said this while turning away and becoming aggressive. I noticed my face turning red as I became agitated by the second.

"Aria, the call was crucial because my work was calling. I do, however, apologize if you felt that way "I smiled at him while shaking my head at what he said.

"You never made me feel important" I spoke quietly enough for him to hear me. As I mentioned it, my chest grew heavy; I didn't want to get upset because I have school today.

"That's not true, Aria-"

I turn my head and widen my eyes. "It is! You and mom are rarely here. And whenever you are here, you only ask about Hailey and never about me!" I yelled as I got out of bed and stood in front of him.

I went on. "A-and when I do speak, you never listen, always trying to push me away," I explained.

He stands there, emotionless in his expression, staring at me. It was as if a stranger had entered my room. He extends his hand and sighs heavily before returning his gaze to mine.

"Aria, you're completely twisting the truth here. I'm not ignoring you on purpose; I just know you're fine without even bothering to ask "He replied, staring at me with a know-it-all attitude and making me look stupid.

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