I Wish

Chapter 30

TW PTSD, implied self harm, burns, swearing, mentioned suicide/thoughts, dark humor,
Please let me know if I missed any

I tried to make hurt/comfort, and I'm posting this before I start hating it.

Ranboo would love to say things went right back to the way they were, but that was impossible. There was something between all three of them that sort of went unresolved, a tension that grew as the weeks went on.

All three of them were trying to move on from the incident, and Ranboo couldn't understand what was left unresolved. Most times, it was easy to ignore it though, the three of them talked and laughed and played together, even outside of school.

But sometimes, Ranboo could see all the holes where their relationship was falling apart at the seams. He knew the string had to snap at some point, and it would leave the three of them scrambling to pick up the pieces, or go their separate ways.

Sometimes they wonder if it's really worth it, to keep a friendship together that's destined to fall. But he also sees Tommy and Tubbo smiling, and knows he has to try, even if he knows from the start that it would end in disaster.

Ranboo could see Tommy was on a precipice, teetering between giving up, and being here. He doesn't blame him, after all, in that way they are one in the same.

He could also see Tubbo falling apart, desperately trying to keep everything together. They could see it in the way his eyes went unfocused, or hardened. Or when he snapped and then recoiled as if he had been snapped at too.

They were just like snakes, biting one another because they were bitten by one of the others.

"Ranboo, hey, Ranboo, let's go, we can't wait all day."

"Oh, sorry." He said sheepishly, "just thinking."

"Mhm, well stop whatever you're thinking, and think about climbing." Tubbo said, mock disapprovingly.

Ranboo huffed in mock annoyance, and started climbing the ladder. They had found an abandoned tree house, and claimed it as their own.

He reached the top, and smiled at his friends. The three of them brought paint to refurbish the place. Tommy smuggled some pale yellow from his house, and Ranboo had some primer and red and blue. Tubbo brought a bunch of different paintbrushes, and they made up a plan.

They made a makeshift pulley system to bring the paint up, and found an old rope swing that they attached.

So today was the day they would paint.

Ranboo popped the top off the primer, and Tommy and Tubbo dipped their paintbrushes into it.

He walked outside with the colored paint. There was a small deck like platform around the outside of the tree house, perfect for sitting on and painting.

They poured some of the yellow, and a little bit of blue onto the deck and mixed it to make a pretty shade of green.

He was going to keep the natural wood color, but wanted to add something more. So he started painting, making small downward streaks around the base of the tree house. He let his mind drift off, as it was just muscle memory.

Tommy was a dying flame, sputtering and re-lighting, flickering and dimming. Ranboo couldn't help but worry how much longer he could've gone before being snuffed out entirely.

Tubbo however, was completely different, snapping, and lashing out the way Tommy used to. Never around Ranboo though, he tread lightly around his flinchy friend.