Fiend-205: The Bad Batch One-Shots

Would you Rather?

The Bad Batch sat inside their quarters when Hunter enters

Fiend: how'd the report go?

Hunter: went well, all things considered

Fiend: all things considered? Wrecker slapped the queen! on the ass!

Wrecker turns to Fiend

Wrecker: HEY! THERE WAS A BUG ON THERE! NOT MY FAULT IT CHOSE HER BUTTOCKS!

Fiend: SHE ATTACKED YOU FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT! look, Wrecker, you don't just slap a girl on the ass! bug on there or not!

Crosshair scoffs

Crosshair: I'm sure you would know about slapping women on the ass, hey Chief?

Fiend: go to hell, Cross

Hunter: lock it down, both of you

Fiend shakes his head and Crosshair goes back to inspecting his rifle

Fiend: so Sarge, what's next?

Hunter takes his helmet off and places it on his bed

Hunter: we've got a week off. Republic officials said so

Fiend: well, that's nice. full week, gives Tech and I an opportunity to give Echo an overhaul. because let's be real, he desperately needs one

Hunter: that's fair

Fiend: yeah, not tonight though. I need to be in the right frame of mind. can't think straight after all the flirting the queen did with me

Hunter walks to the window as Tech and Echo enter the room

Hunter: well then

Hunter turns to Fiend

Hunter: what were you thinking of doing?

Fiend strokes the chin part of his helmet in thought

Tech: what's going on?

Hunter: we've got a week off of assignments

Tech: a full week? gives us an opportunity to give Echo an overhaul

Echo: wait what?

Tech turns to Echo

Tech: come on Echo, you don't want to be made with separatist components forever do you?

Echo: well... no...

Tech: besides, overhauls are natural for machines. given you are mostly machine, its reasonable that you would also follow suit

Echo: yeah yeah, I get it

Fiend looks up

Fiend: I know something! there's this game some of the Marines would play back during the Human-Covenant war. some of them included me, although they had to make the game age appropriate as I was 12 at the time

Hunter: so, what's the game?

cut to an hour later, all 6 members of the Bad Batch sat around a table, a bottle of beer in their hands

Fiend: ok ok, alright, I got one. would you rather have sex with General Secura's body with Admiral Tarkin's head on it, or build a gunship from scratch?

Hunter: hmm

Tech: that's a tough one..

Wrecker: can I close my eyes?

Fiend: nope, eye contact the whole time and a lot of kissing

Crosshair: ok well how about General Secura's head on Admiral Tarkin's body?