Pleasing (H.S)

fifteen

Harry

Today marks two months since Iris and I got into a relationship. And also, it is the day that my new single is coming out. Mitch and Sarah decided to host a gathering to celebrate that. They know how depressed I was when Fine Line came out and I didn't want to celebrate it at all. I remember how unhappy I was, how much I wanted to just stay home and not do anything. The album was sad, the only things that I did was being sad and have sex. So I only wrote about it.

For Harry's house, I changed it. I tried to write something happier. I wrote boyfriends the first week of the writing process. Then, I wrote love of my life and as it was. Matilda came next and that's when writer's block found me. I didn't know how to continue. Mitch came to my house one day and told me a story about how he and Sarah took this big trip to New York. They went there by car. I started writing about things that I did with my exes and what i wanted to do with them. I haven't experience the choke her with a sea view yet, for example.

I don't always write from experience and I think that I'm doing something wrong. Iris tells me that I don't and that I do an amazing work with my songwriting. I wish I could believe it. I talk to my therapist about that every now and then but I can't change my mindset.

The only time that I feel successful and that I've done a great work is when Emma is singing my songs on the top of her lungs. She is the person that I trust. She is the only fan that I value her opinion. She is completely honest and she always gets so enthusiastic when she hears my music and my voice.

I love her to the moon. I never expected to love a little human being so much. I'm so glad that Iris gave me the chance to get to know her daughter. She gave me a friend that is there for me without expecting anything back from me, she doesn't even know that I'm famous. She knows that I'm just a singer and an actor, and her aunt Tonya happens to be a fan. I love Emma and I try to be a good role model for her.

I don't know how my relationship with Iris is going to go but I take it seriously. I want a future with her. I want to be there for her and her daughter forever. I don't know how Emma is going to see me as the time goes by, if I change the role I fill in her life, but I know that I am more than willing to fill whatever role she decided for me to fill.

I am taking really small steps at this relationship. It's the first time I do that. I'm scared that I'm going to scare the two most important girls in life right now off. I can't do that right now. I can't afford to lose them.

The gathering is at Mitch and Sarah's house. My nephew isn't going to be there because he is spending the weekend at Mitch's parents so they thought that my song being released is the best excuse to get us all together. So, instead of taking my girlfriend somewhere nice for a date, I'm driving her and Harry Lambert at Mitch's house.

"What are you thinking, H?" Harry asks me. He is sitting at the passenger seat and my girl is sitting in the back. I got angry when he opened the door of the car to seat at his usual seat but I washed it off really quick. This night is about me and I have to be happy for the people that will be there to celebrate me.

"What if they don't like it? What will I do?" I tell the two of my closest friends my thoughts.

"They will like it. It's so good." Iris replies and I look at her from the rear view mirror. She is smiling at me and I take a little bit of strength from her smile.

Lambert watches the interaction and I know that when he sees Molly, he is going to tell her everything. They are our biggest shippers! "Have you heard the song?" He asks Iris shocked.

"I have, haven't you?" She asks him back and he nods.

"I have but not the final product. He told me that he changed it a few week ago."