seasons sing a lullaby

Pluviophile x Rain 2

la lalalala la la hmmhmmm hmmm.......

As he slept on his bed, Sagar  thought of a hymn he had heard this evening. It was a sweet, melodious voice. With such a good voice, she should have better things to do, rather than hanging out with a depressed shit like me... As he thought about self-insulting things like that, he thought about the day's evening.

"By the way, when are you usually free during the day?" Varsha asked him, as they were walking back. "Uhhh.. since I am not attending classes, I am free in the evenings." Sagar didn't really feel like attending his classes, so he studied in his room by himself. Attendance didn't really matter as long as his marks were above average.

"That's cool then! I visit Spring Park every evening at five 'o clock, so I'll meet you tomorrow then, bye!"

"Bye."

She invited to meet up with him daily, yet didn't even bother to ask his number. Did she really trust him so much? Or maybe she didn't ask his number because she thought he probably won't show up. He didn't know. But since he had nothing to do in the evenings, he decided to visit the park tomorrow. Spring Park was three kilometers away from his room, a walkable distance. It was a beautiful park with many types of flowering plants and trees. Maybe it will cheer me up.

Sagar tried to sleep, slightly look forward to the next evening. The natural melody of the rain was comforting, yet he couldn't sleep. He had a proper north Indian meal on his way back, so he was not even hungry. It was not that. Something had been bothering him since he had returned. He wanted to avoid thinking about it, yet he couldn't. He had guessed the reason why she wanted to interact with him so much, and he felt irritated at himself. He looked at his scarred hand.

Ha haha hahaha... I guess I really am scared of dying

He hated his current life, yet he couldn't let go of it. His situation got so bad that even strangers started to show sympathy toward him.

He couldn't sleep, so he went to his balcony. He stared at the rain, it was beautiful.

***

Am I the real coward here? indecisive, miserable. From your perspective, maybe. But I'm starting to think that's not the case. In fact, I think I will insult you of being the real coward. One day, I will join you, but it won't be soon. It is tempting, I won't end up being like you. Ending up like you, for me at least, isn't a satisfying option anymore. Will life force me to get tempted in the future? perhaps. But I will not give in. I will experience the life you couldn't, for you, and for myself...He was thinking about some one he could no longer speak to.

As he entered the beautiful and colorful park, he saw Varsha playing around and singing with happy little kids, they were as beautiful as the flowers in the park. Looking at them he made a resolution. The resolution came out of nowhere, and something like that would be very cliche and cringe, if it was in a YA novel. He was a teenager after all. He had guessed the reason Varsha had decided to interact with him so...Maybe along the way I can end up helping you too...

He walked towards them. With a smile. Slightly filled with hope. He was expecting a bit too much from her, but he didn't care. He would gladly take any help he got. He would cling on to even the thinnest thread of hope from now on.

The beautiful melody entered his ears again.