Road to Hell

The edge of her sanity and children's laughter

Chapter song: Clannad OST - Roaring Tides II Slowed and Reverb v2 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHgQzAq2o_Y)

"Give it back!"

Children's laughter and lively bickering filled the air, as your feet slowly carried you toward your house.

But your body stopped, right before you took the corner and came into their line of vision.

Finding a puddle to study your reflection was not hard. The skewers of humanity were filled with filthy water and muddy soil.

But the murky surface couldn't help you in the least.

You gave up and slapped your face once. Twice. Failing to bring some color back into your cheeks. Doctor Ilbert said it would soon become obvious your health was declining, but that didn't mean you couldn't avoid that moment for as long as possible.

Especially in front of the children.

"Wraith!" One of them exclaimed as soon as his eyes landed on you when you finally mustered your courage to face them. "Guys! Wraith is back!"

Wraith. Ghost. Phantom. Sneaky bitch. Sly bastard.

You were called all of these and more, especially by your victims. You couldn't say you minded. After all, you did everything in your power to remain as hidden and anonymous as possible. People could not hide or protect themselves from an enemy they couldn't see.

But now, this nickname somehow irked you. Maybe because you would become an actual ghost in less than six months.

That was if such things as an afterlife existed, of course. You highly doubted they did.

"Ghost, do a magic trick like last time!"

"No! Show us again that walk! The one without a sound!"

"Shut up! It's my turn this time! I want Wraith to teach me how to hide!"

It was not long before all of them surrounded you, the corners of your lips quirking up higher the more you listened to all their requests.

"Hmmm," finger resting on your chin, you took your time trying to decide what to show them today.

Their eyes sparkled, with all the hope and innocence in the world, hanging onto your every movement. Onto your very own existence.

You may not have it in you to pity anyone but yourself, but that didn't mean you were heartless enough not to teach these children how to survive. Perhaps, they would have better luck than you. And one day, some of them could even reach the surface.

A dark cloud wrapped around your thoughts. A wistful memory.

You shook it away.

Taking in all of them one by one, you eventually decided today's lesson could very well turn into a gift from you. Everyone loved your tricks, and they had fun trying to figure out how quickly your hands could move in order to fool their eyes.

"Oh? Edgar, what's this? I told you so many times to wash behind your ears. What am I going to do with you?" You bent down and reached for him, watching the light flare up inside the boy's eyes, as a golden coin brightly shone between your fingers.

Everyone cheered after the initial shock disappeared, awe-struck looks and excitement plastered on their faces. Edgar snatched the coin from your palm the moment you held it out to him, queue already forming behind the boy.

The kids knew you never liked chaos.

And so, by the time you reached the last in line, magic completely depleted from the air, a single coin rested on the bottom of the once full pouch.

Alone at last, you didn't know how much time you spent in silence. Sunken eyes just staring at your hand, mind empty of all thoughts. Yet too many were waiting, swarming at the edge of your sanity.

"That was everything you captured today."

You didn't even sense his presence. The only person underground who could even come close to your skills was none other than Levi.

You turned around, familiar steel eyes and stony features greeting you.

"I got enough yesterday. They need it more than I do, anyway," you said, trying to forcefully relax the muscles in your face.

It was painful. The only thing you wanted to do was to break down and cry your heart out.

Levi carefully studied you, as always.

After so many years, you still couldn't tell what he was thinking. If he noticed your recent pallor, or the hollow in your cheeks deepening day by day, he never said a word.

His face was always a mask of cold calm.

Sometimes, it irritated you. Sometimes, you took pride in wiping that calm right off his face. Other times, it was the only thing you relied on when you couldn't rely on yourself.

Such as now.

"Am I in trouble, boss?" your tone light, you couldn't help but try to distract his attention, in case he noticed the distress written into the worry lines etched across your face.

He let out a deep breath, arms folded in front of his chest. "Still haven't decided yet. We needed that money today."

"Well, then. I will accept any punishment you see fit," you said, a spark of mischief behind your words.

Levi quirked an eyebrow at your guts, perhaps not expecting you to flirt with him in the middle of the road, where anyone could hear.

It's not like people didn't know about you two. You were not trying to keep it a secret.

But, at the same time, neither of you wanted to flaunt your relationship in public, especially during work. You may be underground trash, but even you two knew business and pleasure never mixed well together.

At night, he was your Levi, and no one else's. During the day, he was everyone's leader, trying to offer his people a better life.

Well, as good as it could get inside humanity's dumpster.

He never liked to be called a leader, but you all knew Levi took the responsibility of all your lives upon himself. Such heavy burden on his shoulders, the least you could do was not stand in his way.

You chuckled, but there was no joy behind it. "I'm kidding, boss. You can relax now. But you're the one to talk. When was the last time you ate a full meal without sharing it with Isabel?"

"She's still growing. I'm not." Levi was not impressed with your attempt to chase away the awkwardness.

"I can tell."

"Fuck off." And with one last dirty glance, he whirled around and headed for the house.

You allowed yourself a moment, faint laughter released through your lips. But your smile faded as soon as it appeared, tears prickling at the back of your eyes. You tried to swallow them; the lump formed in your throat raw and warm.

Your head snapped up at the sound of your name, spoken so softly you could've almost missed it. "Come on. Furlan is cooking today."

Levi watched you over his shoulder. A brief wave of tenderness warmed the cold metal of his eyes as the steady fingers of his hand extended toward you.

A surge of heat rose to your cheeks. After so many years, he still managed to make you act like a teenage girl, the warm tingle smoldered in your chest both blissful and hurtful at the same time.

You nodded and followed him.

The ice of your palm melted at the soothing touch of his skin. Rough and calloused. Yet gentle and warm.

So, so warm.

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