Title Page

3 1 0
                                    

The Swiss Suitcase

(Book 1 of the LSD series)

It's not a disaster movie. It's worse.

By: Ronaldo Siète

When you owe the bank 100 euros, you have a problem. When you owe the bank 100 million euros, the bank has a problem.

Polderdam, 1st of January 2023

ISBN: 978-94-92389-25-1

Publisher: Editorial Perdido - at

Author-right: @ 2022 by Ronaldo Siète - as @Ronaldo7Siete at

Author-right cover design @ 2022 by Katie Sharp - as @katieishere at

Thanks to John, Maureen, Jet and the Wattpad community.

Thanks to John, Maureen, Jet and the Wattpad community

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Cover text

Lux loves being The Runner of the LSD (Luxembourg Spy Department) until he meets Rostov, a banker who wants this story to end on page one. Rostov is in so much trouble that shooting himself seems the only wise thing to do, but even suicide doesn't work out as planned. Lux offers to help: "You better drown yourself in the bathtub and save me the work of cleaning up blood and brain tissue."

Lux and Rostov join forces. Lux has grit, wit and it, and Rostov needs only one hit to release a shipload of shit. Together they cause a roller coaster of disasters in and around the five-star Prestigio International Hotel in Geneva, on a mission to solve two questions: what happened to the President of the First Bank of Moscow, and what's inside the suitcase that Rostov lost?

Shareware Book

"Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom - and no such thing as public liberty without freedom of speech." — Benjamin Franklin

This is a Shareware Book. You have permission to download it, own it, read it, copy and print it, share it and give it away, and you may use the lyrics, as many times as you like, for free, without the prior written permission from authors or publishers. With Shareware Books, you can do anything except earn money, as that's the author-right of the artists who created it.

This book is free, but not for nothing. The price of a Shareware Book is one euro (€ 1,-). You can read the book first, and you only pay the price if you think it's worth it. This is Editorial Perdido's unique «money back» guarantee. Shareware Books are much cheaper than books from commercial publishers (who pay the author less than a euro per book and keep the rest). Therefore, Shareware is a much better deal for both readers and writers. By paying the voluntary contribution, you encourage the authors to publish more entertaining and affordable Shareware Books. For those who doubt the quality of free goods: read this story and wonder if you've ever read anything better.

Language belongs to everyone. Commercial companies only publish profitable prose; their commercial censorship limits freedom of speech and diversity of opinion. Thanks to Shareware, any writer or poet can bring their work to the attention of readers, with a financial reward for their costs, without depending on agents or publishers. Thanks to popular mobile phones and tablets with free eReader apps (we recommend: PocketBook), billions of potential readers will welcome Shareware Books.

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." — Benjamin Franklin.

Imagine a world in which everyone downloads free Shareware textbooks. Nelson Mandela said: "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." With Shareware Books, thousands of writers might fill a freely accessible university library on the Internet. The complete world's population could visit school at home, with their mobile phones. Seven billion students could attend a free university, but only if millions of readers support the initiative, paying that euro or dollar or pound or franc.

Editorial Perdido is a non-profit publishing company, without even a bank account. Our sponsor, , pays our costs and collects money for Project Haiti on our behalf.

At Editorial Perdido, we find reading and literature important, and we believe in the healing powers of humour. We take funny books so seriously that, together with our authors and the creators of Admi365, we launched the ambitious plan to build and run a school in Haiti. By publishing Shareware Books, we raise money for that project. Thanks to our writing and your reading, we teach children to read and write.

We kindly ask you to transfer one euro (€1,-) to bank account NL96 KNAB 0258 6957 22 in the name of Admi 365 B.V., the Netherlands (Bank name: Knab, Amsterdam, the Netherlands, BIC: KNABNL2H), stating the text "School Haiti" and the title of this book. 100% of your contribution goes to charity.

On our website, , you'll find the latest news about the progress of Project Haiti, and also many titles of other free books.

About the author

Ronaldo considers himself «the funniest writer in Dutch literary history». The rest of the country laughs about that, which automatically confirms the statement. After a long traumatic experience in his childhood (the six years of the 1st grade of primary school, when he had to learn the alphabet), he escaped reality and plunged into the world of fiction. He studied laughing stock in Orcsford (England), dark humour in the Black Forest (Germany) and dirty jokes at Club Oh, La, Lá (Place Picardillas 69, Paris, France). He graduated in Tonterías and won a licence in Cachondeo from the University of Málaga (Spain).

His novels and poems are full of his philosophy: smile every day, because no one gives literary prizes to writers who make their readers cry (otherwise he would have written this book on onion skins). He lives everywhere and doesn't work anywhere, because making up jokes while floating in the pool, with a drink in one hand and a snack in the other, "That ain't workin', that's the way you do it".

The LSD-series:

1. The Swiss Suitcase

2. The Polish Program

3. The French Formula

4. The Spanish Spotlight

5. The Austrian Aroma

6. The Maltese Manuscript

7. The Swedish Sex Bomb

8. (you'll have to read the others first)

9. (and we're not giving away this title either)

For more info, news and free downloads:

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. At least, that's what my lawyer says, that I should tell you these lies so you don't believe all the other lies in the rest of this book. The truth is that the situations in this book, no matter how much you like them to be true, are fiction. The people in this story, no matter how likely you want them to exist, are fiction. Truth is stranger than fiction. That's why we write fiction: so you can learn to find a better truth.

The grammatical and spelling errors in this work are on purpose.

The first reason for this is commercial. Studies show that readers feel superior when they find errors in other people's writing. That's why we instructed our editor, Miss Take, to make sure our readers feel special when they enjoy our books. Only Editorial Perdido gives this glorious feeling of happiness to their clients.

The second reason is political. Every error is a protest against the Grammar Nazis, who complicated the language so the average educated person cannot put hor thoughts on paper without errors. Even the magic spell checker doesn't understand it anymore. Language is communication. It belongs to everyone, not only to the diehards who dedicated half their lives to studying it.

The Swiss Suitcase (LSD, #1)Where stories live. Discover now