The Swiss Suitcase (LSD, #1)

11. You Got Me Rocking

You Got Me Rocking

Rostov and I drag Miss Franklin into the lift. On the 25th floor, we carry her to suite 2539, where we lay her on the double bed. She is already snoring. Her male assistant suffers an upcoming panic attack. He tries to wake her up by calling her name, by slapping her on the cheeks, by throwing a glass of cold water into her face, but nothing works: Miss Franklin is K.O.. Worse. She's like a boxer who can't get in the ring.

"What do we do?", he asks me. You must be pretty desperate if you start asking a chamberboy for advice.

"First, we have to get her up. Give us a hand, Mister... What's your name?", I ask.

"Elwood. Jake Elwood. I'm from Chicago."

Rostov shakes hands: "Pleased to meet you. I'm Mesut Bellarabi, formerly known as Rostov. He's Julian, but his friends call him Lux. We fix things. Don't you worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing is gonna be all right."

"I've heard that before.", Jake says: "How can a chamberboy and a bellboy fix Miss Franklin, so she's able to rock the stage in... two and a half hours?"

I explain: "Things are not always what they seem. Before Rostov became a bellboy, he was a tycoon drowning in debt. Have you seen the James Bond film «The World Is Not Enough»? He owns the original BMW Z8 with remote control that James Bond used in that film."

Jake's doubts grow with the second: "How is that going to help us?"

I smile: "Before I became a chamberboy, I was a butcher, cutting up meat. Have you seen that film «Big Momma's House» where Martin Lawrence has a machine to make a rubber mask of the face of Big Momma? I have that machine. Help us lift Miss Franklin; I have to make the images the software needs to produce the mask."

Jake still doesn't understand: "Why? What for?"

Rostov understands. He knows this ain't over until the fat lady sings. He knows I don't sing and I don't dance. There's only one option left and, after his successful rehearsal for a bus full of live audience, he's looking forward to it. He grins at the snoring Miss Franklin: "Hey, you'll get me rocking."

* * *

Two and a half hours is not a lot of time to transform a 31-year-old Caucasian banker into a 70-year-old black female world-famous singer. It requires teamwork, dedication, quick thinking and accurate acting. We can't have any misfortune at all because the show must go on. Over 3.000 people will be waiting on the terrace near the lake for the moment of their life: Miss Aretha Franklin will step on the landing pier that has been turned into a podium, and she will stage a show like Geneva hasn't had since Deep Purple burnt down a studio and wrote «Smoke On The Water».

My first stop is my own room, 1407, to unpack my kit that produces rubber masks, to start my computer and the software for the design, to connect my spiPhone and feed the data, to get the whole circus running. That will take a while. My next stop is the reception, to get the 21 suitcases, bags and sacks Miss Franklin brought for a one-night stay and a one-hour show. A lady differs from other women because of the number of disasters she's always prepared to face and solve. A lady never goes anywhere without the proper outfit for every imaginable occasion. Miss Aretha Franklin is a lady, she's THE lady, the First Lady, the Queen of Soul. 21 suitcases, bags and sacks are what she calls «travelling light».

Also, a gentleman differs from other men because he behaves like a gentleman under every circumstance. Mister White and Mister Black are not real gentlemen. They look more like Mister Green and Mister Yellow when they enter the lobby of the hotel. Seven hours of continuous roller coaster have their effect on even the trained stomachs of trained special agents of the CIA. Mister Black disappears into the bathroom, answering the call of all the unnatural candyfloss, waffles with maple syrup and chocolate flavoured ice cream that people eat before they start shaking their intestines in the various attractions of a fair. Mister White wants to have a word with Sabina first. He looks angry when he asks her: "Who delivered that envelope with the message you gave us this morning?"