Endlessly Gravitating (James Potter X Reader)

Why it won't work

I smooth out the wrinkles in my black dress pants with a shaking hand. I breath out with a huff, annoyed by the anxiety pestering me.

My mind begins shifting to the scenarios of the coming events and my stomach starts to turn. I shake the thoughts away and begin repeating in my head that it would be okay. Because it would be. Right? My face contorts with the concerns when McGonagall emerged, "you may come in, Miss L/N."

I stand in front of McGonagall and Dumbledore with a deep frown aimed at the ground. "Is something wrong, Miss L/N?"

"I cannot continue here."

McGonagalls eyebrows furrow, face contorting into a mix of disappointment and confusion, "why is that?"

I take a deep breath and hang my head, "I have become attached to a student." I hold my breath, fear coursing through me. Heat rises to my cheeks and I brace myself for the worst.

I didn't see the knowing look that passed between the wise professors. "James Potter, I presume?" McGonagall asks.

My eyes glance up in slight surprise, I nod once, nervously, "yes."

"I guess, Y/MOMS/N was right," I quickly look up at her. The name makes my head pound and my heart ache, "their paths are entwined."

"What?" I can barely breath out the word.

I don't know why I thought I could return to England without the past being brought up. "Miss L/N, you know your parents were dear to us don't you?" The professor tilted her head at me. "Your parents were important to everyone they met."

I look back at the ground, my breath quickening slightly, "clearly not everyone." I squeeze my eyes shut as if it would block the memories that threatened to return.

"Y/N," Dumbledore says and I look at him in anticipation. The tone of his voice oozed importance, "always remember your parents, think of everything of them constantly, let their memory live on. It won't do to forget them."

I grip my hands together as my mind fights to remember what I wish to forget. I shake my head, "I have to go back home. I can't stay here."

"Home," Dumbledore repeats, letting the word fill the room and forcing its dwellers to ponder its meaning. I couldn't figure out the meaning, "Miss L/N, you know you are a student as well, don't you? A bit of a different status, but nonetheless still you are here to learn."

McGonagall had been eyeing me before she spoke up, "Mr. Potter is of age and I'm sure he consents wholeheartedly."

Still, something felt wrong, misplaced. I was being pulled back to America and away from James. "I need to go back."

"We finally figure this out and you're leaving? Early?" His teeth clench a bit as he speaks and his whole face screws up.

"I have things to figure out there." I explain and try to take his hand. He pulls it away and I bite my lip as fear plagues me.

"No, you don't," he stresses the words with a deep frown on his face, "you don't have anything there. It's not your home, your home is right here."

"James, we can't work," I say, his words hurt slightly. You don't have anything there. I used to. "I'm going back."

His frown becomes angry as fear and confusion reaches his eyes, "fine."

I allowed Lily and Remus to drag me to one last Gryffindor party. My heart was broken and I was going to miss everybody I had learned to consider a friend. I still wanted James.

I sit between the pair nursing a drink and thanking Isolt that I had yet to see him."Are you sure about leaving?" Remus calls over the noise.

I stare down into my drink. I had become less sure as the time grew ever closer. "I have too. I have unfinished business there."

"It's destroying James," he says and tears fill my eyes as I look over at the scarred man, "I'm sorry, but it is and I think it'll destroy you too."

I look down, studying my hands. Of course it was destroying me. I think over everything once more. Maybe I can stay. Maybe I can just ignore everything and stay.

I stand up and push my way through the crowd, searching for James. I shove through and don't see Sirius' panicked expression. I don't see him trying to make his way towards me. I do see James eating Paisley Marins face off.

My stomach drops and tears prick my eyes. I turn, jaw clenching. I push through the bodies once again and grab onto someone, "wanna make out?" I ask the person.

The person is ripped off me, "stay away from her!" James yells, his face burning red.

"What the hell?" I yell as my anger boils higher, "I didn't do that to you!"

His face drops at that and I can see the fear and sadness before it's replace by more anger. "I'm not the one leaving!"

"When did you become an arrogant jerk?"

"I always have been," he grumbles, "you are the only one that didn't think so."

"I must have been blind." I sneer and feel the anger maintained on my own face, but in reality my heart is broken and I feel a panic attack rising.

"I can't believe you're leaving again," James mutters before pushing his way through the crowd and disappearing.
——
I land on my back after my last port key. I stare up at the stars above and let out a breath. Back in America.