Endlessly Gravitating (James Potter X Reader)

When fifteen years was worth the wait

1993

My hair rested on my shoulders, but as I reached up to smooth it down I thought it was wild with my emotions. I stare up at the castle with a deep frown etched upon my face trying to decipher once again how I ended up back here. "This whole secret auror thing has really changed you, hasn't it?" I jumped at the sudden voice next to me and turned to see Remus for the first time since his school days. The world has certainly taken its toll on him.

I glance down at myself and take note of the black leather that had replaced my wardrobe of flare pants and sweaters. I had started to notice the darkness that had begun to overtake me and the pessimistic state I had fallen into. The knowledge of the prophecy and that Voldemort was likely to return someday seemed to ruin something within me, worse than when he had been at large the first time. "I mean, I have taken to leather, haven't I Mr. Lupin?" I give him an amused pairing of a smile and shrug.

When he returns that soft smile and ducks his head I catch a glimpse of eighteen-year-old Remus and am happy to know he is still in there. "I always thought you'd end up teaching here, not galavanting and fighting dark forces." We both stare at the building with matching looks of nostalgia and apprehension.

I can't help the sudden laugh that leaves me, "Galavanting? Is that what they've been saying?" I raise an eyebrow and the grin he returns somewhat settles my apprehension and returns some of the light to the memories surrounding Hogwarts. "I found it to be of more importance than teaching."

He tilts his head, eyes burrowing into my soul, "But you love teaching."

I open my mouth to reply only for it to close again unable to find the words, so instead I hurry to change the subject, "So, have you," I take a deep breath, "Have you seen him?"

"Yes, he had a run-in with some dementors on the train," the younger man replies.

"Dementors on the train?" I ask outraged, "This is completely unacceptable. I am going to ring the minister by the neck next time I see him, I swear," I fume, my entire face tensing, "but Harry getting into trouble with dementors? It sounds like trouble follows him like some other people I know." I say with a smirk, bumping him with my shoulder.

"Not Moony, he was always the voice of reason," I suck in a breath and we both look over our shoulders at him, "and we always brought the trouble to him." He had a short beard and dark circles under his eyes. Those eyes held mine and I turned away as Remus and him hugged.

James leaned forward and he wiggled his eyebrows in my line of sight making me roll my eyes. I feigned looking at some rambunctious redheads making noise off to the side to hide my smile. "So, you've been rejecting assignments with me." He says, tilting his head in a curious manner.

I redden and looked down, studying his Adidas intently, "it just, I just, I don't know," I stammered.

"I get it," he interrupts, giving me that sweet James smile. Then his face grows serious, giving me a painfully regretful look, "You didn't deserve the way I treated you."

Something in me unravels at that, "I understand why though, we both made some poor choices concerning the way it all went down."

"I know I reacted way too harshly, though."

"I didn't handle it well either," I try to assure him, "I'm not mad or blame you for it. I know it was a shitty situation that makes people crazy."

"Well, I plan to fix it," he gives a mischievous grin, something I can't read glinting in his eyes.

I narrow my eyes, "what-?"

Dumbledore's appearance ends the discussion and we are pulled away, up to his office.

"I find you all to be the most important people in Harry's life right now," Dumbledore intones from behind his desk. His eyes seem to crawl within you and call to the deepest parts of your soul. "You have the knowledge of Mr. Black, you are the first line of defense. His protection and protection of all of Hogwarts depends upon us."

I glance over at the boys to gauge their reactions. I never did find out the toll Sirius' betrayal may have taken on James. Looking back, I'm sure some of his anger was attributed to the fresh betrayal of the person he trusted most. My face contorts to concern as James' face has frozen and he glares intensely at the floor. Remus has the slightest grimace on his face as he tries to focus on what Dumbledore is saying.

I deflated slightly as I looked away, a soft frown was pulling at my lips. "Minerva will take you to your rooms, I'm sure you're all in need of a rest."

"Y/N," The words slithered down the corridor bringing a shiver down my spine in the most pleasant way attainable. I turn to the to find James standing at the end of the hall. McGonagall had just departed and I was aiming to once again enter the room I had once occupied when I was younger.

In the dark Hogwarts corridor, the moon cast an ethereal light across his face that brought images of a younger, more innocent man I had once known. Looking at him now, in his truest form, a big daring smirk as though we were sneaking around, but a gentle tone to his voice I was reminded that I never would be over him. He would always sit in the back of my mind. "Jamie," I find myself whispering back, a familiar tone coming into my voice that I hadn't used since I had to scold him for referring to me as love. 

A light flashed through his eyes and I watched the corner of his lip twitch, "You haven't called me that in so long."

He stepped closer and I tried to roll my eyes, "It's late, shouldn't you be in your room?"

"Are you going to give me detention for being out past curfew, love?" His amused energy filled the corridor and suddenly I realized he would never be the same, but something in him had returned. 


We stood face to face now and I gave a nostalgic smile as I ducked my head, " I could. I'll tell Minerva to let Filch use his shackles." I stick my tongue out at him and watch the grin as it takes over his face. 

"I've always wondered if I'd get the shackle treatment."

I tilt my head, "What do you want James?"

"I want you to marry me." I notice the little flower he was twisting in his hand and realize it's a small part of swamp milkweed. The soft tone and serious face he'd take on demonstrated the reality of the question. 

I found myself blinking blankly at him, never able to say no but not sure if yes made any sense at all for the two of us. My mind swam in the incredulity of it. We hadn't seen each other in years, not directly, and hadn't dated in nearly fourteen years. However, I found myself gravitating. The question and the possibility seemed to align, and the only thing that made sense at that moment made no sense at all, "Okay."