the untold 'dirty little secret.'

ch 6; i can't live like this anymore.

The door slammed open, and Richie curled in on himself. He protected his head, holding it as he fell into a corner in the wall.

"Richie! Fuck," Eddie exclaimed. He grabbed onto the boy, holding him. "I've got you."

"You left me," Richie said sternly. He huffed hard, trying to stop crying.

"I'm so sorry. So sorry. We're here now, okay?" Eddie said. As Eddie hugged around Richie, Bill crouched in front of Richie and beside Eddie. Beverly leaned down next to Bill, and Mike, Ben and Stanley stood, watching the poor boy.

"Wh-what if It comes back..?" Richie asked, tired. Eddie sighed.

"We need to find out how to get rid of It." Eddie looked up at Bill and Beverly.

Beverly sighed. "Rich. Are.. are clowns.. really your biggest fear?" she asked, believing she knew why Richie was still getting picked on by the clown.

Richie sniffed and nodded. "Mhm." Eddie closed his eyes.

"What's y-your biggest fear?" Bill asked, not believing the boy.

"Clowns," Richie mumbled, not sitting up from his spot in the crowded corner. Eddie sat up, pulling off of Richie.

"Rich."

"What, Eddie?!" he exclaimed, not too loud.

"Biggest fear." Richie swallowed hard.

"We aren't h-h-here to judge you. We're losers. Losers stick together," Bill said.

"Okay then. My biggest fear is getting dumped by Eddie's mom," Richie joked. The joke fell flat, not even Richie smiling at it.

"Do you want It to stop or not?" Stanley asked, crossing his arms.

'If being tormented by It for the rest of my life means I'll never have to tell you all, then yes,' Richie thought.

"Why are you staying silent, asshole?!" Eddie asked, smacking Richie's shoulder.

"Nothing. I-.." Richie sighed. He sat up and looked around. The hallway was much brighter now, and he closed his eyes. "Don't want to say it."

"Richie, you have to. It's not gonna stop until y-you do," Bill pointed out.

"I will take this fucking secret to my grave," Richie grumbled.

"Richard Tozier! Snap out of it! Just say it, we don't care if it's weird, or if it's something lame. We just care that you're safe. So please," Eddie lectured the boy. Richie shook his head and put his face in his hands.

"You don't understand," Richie whispered, barely audible.

"Should we try going to Neibolt? You know, to fight It off, maybe?" Beverly suggested.

"I don't want to go back to Neibolt.." Eddie mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't either," Ben sighed.

"All in favor of not going back?" Stanley suggested, and he, Eddie, Ben, and Richie - who uncovered his face with one of his hands yet left his head hung low - all rose their hands.

"Guys.. I know it'll be hard to return.. I just think it's a smart idea if we're trying to get It off of Richie's ass."

"Okay sure, but like, he could also literally tell us what his greatest fear was and this wouldn't have to happen," Eddie derided.

"While you're not wrong, Richie over here is stubborn as fuck," Beverly sighed.

"Wouldn't you want to keep a secret that you've already succeeded in keeping for years, especially knowing that this could ruin your entire friendship?! Yeah. I didn't think so," Richie argued, jerking his head up to look at Beverly for a hot second.

"What secret would you of all people be keeping from us?" Stanley asked, crossing his arms and cocking an eyebrow in confusion.

"Stan, there's a lot about me that you don't fucking know." Stanley shivered a bit at Richie's tone, and Eddie took a deep breath.

"Rich," Eddie spoke, interlocking fingers with Richie, "I promise you we won't think of you any differently, okay? Whatever it is, we will support you."

Richie sighed, closed his eyes, and shook his head, letting it drop back as the back of it hit the wall. "You really aren't getting it, huh?" he chuckled. "I can't say it."

"Why?" Eddie asked.

"I'll get in trouble.." Richie mumbled, staring down and dropping his head.

"What? With who?" Beverly uttered in question.

"People. I.. can't say who," Richie sighed. "Why does this have to happen to us? Why not another group of kids at our school?! Like.. Bowers and his little group or something."

"We're just unluck-" Bill started, and a long arm stretched down from the ceiling and grabbed Richie's collar, yanking him up. Eddie, Beverly, and Bill all held him down as he yelped and squirmed. He punched the arm with all of his strength and was sitting back down, slightly lying on Eddie, before you could know it.

The four were panting, the three standing not knowing what to do or how to help. "You okay?" Eddie panted.

Richie took one look at the boy and burst into tears, hugging him hard. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows in concern and hugged back, digging his face into Richie's shoulder. He felt horrible for the boy. While Richie wasn't speaking up, this was still really unfair.

"This needs to stop. We have to do something about It. Because It's not gonna stop Itself. Stupid clown won't give poor Richie a break!" Beverly pointed out.

"I hate to fa-face this, but at this point, the best option is Neibolt," Bill admitted.

"I.. don't wanna go back," Stanley said.

Mike knelt down and rubbed Richie's shaking shoulder, trying to help comfort him. The curly haired boy let everything out onto Eddie, the boy he loved most in this world. More than he could ever love himself.

"No, me neither," Ben sighed. 

"I know that it'll be a little hard to ret-turn, just trust me on this, guys, o-okay?" Bill instructed the group.

"Okay, how about we don't talk about that when our friend is having a mental fucking breakdown?" Eddie interrupted.

Bill frowned in concern and placed a hand on Richie's back. "Rich. Hey. It's g-gonna be okay, alright? We're going to help you in every way possible. You're safe with us. As long as we're here, no one can hurt you," Bill spoke softly.

Richie nodded into Eddie's shoulder and hugged tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. He was terrified of It coming out of no where just to scare him.