❝ 𝑭𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑨𝑺𝒀 ❞ || Twilight imagines 02

ᴄ ᴀ ʀ ʟ ɪ s ʟ ᴇ ᴄ ᴜ ʟ ʟ ᴇ ɴ

Author's note: this will be set in the 18th century. I'll leave everything to your imagination.

Reminder: English is not my First language. I apologize in advance for the errors in grammar in this chapter. I hope you understand. Thank you and happy reading!

Trigger warning: self-harm

Just to feel something again

Carlisle have lived for centuries. He wouldn't deny it if he said he felt alone. He keeps reminding himself that things are not what they used to be ever since he became one of them. A monster. He watched people come and go. After many attempts of taking his own life, he never succeeded so he just studied a lot in hopes that he'll forget about the loneliness he feels every day. He just wanted to feel something again. Just for once, he wanted to feel like a human again. He thought God must have heard his wishes when he met you. The very first time he laid eyes on you, He felt warmth and somehow...Alive. He was drawn to you.

He felt warmth every time you touched him. Everytime you smile at him. Everytime you tell him you love him. Everytime he hears your voice. He feels happy when you're around. He feels at home when he looks into your eyes. But not all the time for he was always bothered by his thoughts that made his heart ache.

"Carlisle, it's already late. You should get some sleep" yawning, you reached for his hands. "Your hands are cold." "Must have been the weather. But I will love. I just need to finish this." He whispers, kissing your forehead as your eyes dropped shut. Carlisle caressed your hair and went back to writing again while you sleep peacefully beside him, unaware of what's going to happen soon.

There is that heavy feeling again. His thoughts haunt him telling him, you'll only hurt them. You'll only make their life miserable. If only you resisted your desire to feel something again. He clenched his jaws and cleared his head. He couldn't find the courage to tell you that he has to leave soon and that he'll never come back. He'll be gone forever until he becomes a memory. A faded memory to you. He continues writing you a letter. A letter that explains everything. He puts down his quill pen and looked at you. Admiring everything about you. This is the last time he'll ever see you.

It pains him that you'll have to find somebody else to have a family you always wanted. He couldn't give you that life. As much as he wanted to be with you, turning you is one of his choices. But it was cruel of him to turn an innocent woman just for his own wants. He'll only steal away your life, Your youth just so you two can be together. He gently grabbed your hands and held it up to his cheeks. He kisses it gently as he shuts his eyes, creating a future for the both of you. The impossible future. But he has already decided. He'd rather suffer for years rather than you. He's ready to sacrifice everything if its for your own happiness not being fully aware he is your only happiness.

"It is not my intention to do this to you. I never wanted to hurt you in the first place. It is my own stupidity. I was blinded by the desire of having someone by my side that I....I.... didn't even think about its consequences. I am truly sorry for what I'm about to do." He stammered, his trembling hands interlocking yours.

"I thought it would be different this time. I was wrong. I never thought I'd be the one to hurt you when I promised to myself I'll cherish and protect you. I know it was selfish of me to think only about myself but please..... just let me be selfish just for once..."

A tear fell from his eyes. He knew it was selfish of him to love a human when he himself is a monster. He knew, the right second he became one, he'll never live the way he used to be. But just this once. He felt alive again because of you. Just this once, he wanted to stay like this for awhile before saying his goodbye to you. This is the last time he'll feel your warmth. He needs to make you hate him so you'll get over him so easily.

"I love.... I love you so so much (y/n) you have no idea how much it hurts..." He whispered and gave you one last kiss on your forehead before he's gone forever.

Author's note: Ugh My poor Carlisle I do not wish for you to suffer! I might make an edit of him later and post in on IG