Held Voluntarily

6

Pinatay ko muli ang cellphone ng umilaw ito, hudyat na may tumatawag. I put it in silent mode, nasa klase ako ngayon pero umalis ang prof.

My whole attention was on it, I watch the screen light up and off and seconds later it will light up again and off again. It's Duncan. I've been ignoring his calls and texts after we ate outside.

He's just sometimes too much for my system that I think I need a break. Saka, naiinis pa rin ako dahil sa mga balak niyang gawin na nagpapakaba sa akin. Kaya kahit pa may usapan kami ngayon, wala na ata akong balak ituloy.

Sa mga sunod na minuto, itinago ko na lang uli sa bag. I went to my two  other classes without checking it. Ang huling klase ko ngayon ay hanggang tanghali lang. Kaklase ko roon ang dalawa, kaso pagtapos ay mayroon pa silang klase.

That's also why we always choose this day when Duncan plans to go out. Tinapos ko na talaga ang mga panghuking requirements para guilt-free ang larga ko, kaso ay ito nga ang nangyari.

"Excited na ako magbakasyon," Zollana giggled in the middle of the class.

I glance at her. Nasa gitna siya namin ni Lalianah. Siya lang ang may ginagawa dahil tapos na kaming dalawa. Hindi ako nagsalita at dumukdok na lamang sa armchair. I'm so used to her always waiting for vacation. Palibhasa ay ang dami niyang inaabala dahil sa malayang oras niya.

I closed my eyes again and tried to nap. I wasn't able to sleep well last night. Lumitaw ang imahe niya sa isip ko, furrowing brows and his serious gaze— that's definitely what he looks right now.

Oh. Wait, why am I thinking if him again! Gosh, Zas. Just let him feel that the plan is obviously cancelled... It's his fault.

Half hour has passed, and he just keep bugging my mind! Samantalang ang dalawa ay ang dami nang napuntahan ng kwentuhan.

"Nagugutom na ako, dapat pwede na tayong mauna e!"

I hushed my twin quickly. Medyo lumalakas na ang boses niya kapag nagrereklamo. Our prof is just in front for goodness' sake.

Bahagya silang tumahimik.

"Sino 'yan?" rinig kong tanong ni Zollana.

"Si Kuya Duncan," I heard Lalianah said.

Duncan?

Duncan!?

Mabilis akong napatingala sa kanila. I gulped as my eyes flew to Lalianah holding her phone.

Kahit kinakabahan ay sinubukan kong itanong uli baka namamali lang ako ng rinig, right?

"Sino?" I agitately inquired.

Confused, she answered the same name. Looking down to her phone, she reads—

"Pupunta raw—"

I stood up quickly, some heads went to my direction. Agad akong lumapit kay ma'am at nagpaalam bago umalis kaagad. I can't believe tototohanin niya!

Argh!

My heart thumps loudly as I stride the parking area where he could possibly be. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagtibok ng puso ko sa kaba! Grabe, talagang gagawin niya kung gagawin!

Kunot na kunot ang noo ko sa paglinga sa paligid nang maaninag ko siyang papalapit sa akin. Mabilis akong napahinto at huminga nang malalim. Walang tao rito gaano, buti na lang! Tanghali at nasa cafeteria na ang karamihan at nasa klase pa ang iba.

Umawang ang labi ko at hindi makapa ang dapat sabihin nang ngumisi siya. His face lit up in amusement as his eyes focused on me, tila pinag-aaralan ang ekspresyon ko ngayong sinalubong siya.

Marahas akong napabuga, para ngayon lang ako tuluyang huminga.

"You seem to be excited so much," his low voice sounds teasing. "I was suppose to be the one to find you, Zas."

Mabilis na nagsalubong ang kilay ko. Talagang balak niya akong puntahan sa mismong klase!

I gritted my teeth, "No, you were suppose to be not here."

His brows shot up. Umisang hakbang ako papalapit at hinila siya sa pwestong hindi kami mapapansin. He didn't speak, he let me lead him until I  drop his wrist.

"Why are you here?"

Alam ko ang sagot sa tanong ko, but still! What else should I ask!

Ang kaninang mapaglarong mata niya ay sumeryoso. His brown eyes seems to darken a bit more. Kinabahan ako bigla, at hindi ako sigurado kung galit ba siya. It's just that, this never happened before.

"What do you think?" Umarko muli ang mga kilay niya, sinundan niya iyon nang pagak na tawa at humakbang uli papalapit.

I gulped and tried to sway off his affect on me. Pinanood ko siyang paglaruan ang ibang labi niya habang nakatutok pa rin ang buing atensyon sa akin.

Halos naririnig ko na ang kabog ng puso ko! Shit, this is really bad. I should be annoyed with him right now. I shook my head lightly and avoided his orbs.

"I-I mean... you shouldn't come here,"

"I can and I did." Mabilis niyang sagot. "If you were not ignoring my texts and calls, maybe I didn't have to."

Pumikit ako nang mariin nang maunawaan ang pinupunto niya. Right, blame me... sinabi niya na ito pero ngayong ginawa niya ay nagulat pa ako. 

We remain silent. Wala akong maisagot. What exactly am I thinking when I chose to ignore him? I, myself, wasn't sure what I wanted.

Sa huli, napahinga na lang ako na tila sumusuko. This guy, I hate him for making me feel the things that I never thought I'd have.

"I'm waiting for a response,"

I gulped. Ramdam ko ang hininga niya sa pisngi ko dahilan para umakyat ang mga mata ko sa kanya.  Halos lumabas ang puso ko nang magsalubong bigla ang mata namin.  His steel eyes didn't falter looking down straight through me.

I'm... lost for words. All I can hear is the beating against my chest. Kumibot ang labi niya at doon napunta ang atensyon ko.

I'm not really sure but I just found myself tiptoeing to press my lips against his lips. It's so soft... Oh, gosh.

Mabilis din akong humiwalay nang maramdamang natigilan siya. Naging triple ang kabog ng puso ko kaya't mabilis akong tumalikod at tumakbo.

Why the heck did I do that!? Pumikit ako nang mariin at hindi matanggal sa isip ko ang pakiramdam! First kiss indeed is sweet...

I gasped as I felt a hand on my elbow. I froze on my spot. Of course, hahabulin niya ako!

"Not so fast, baby."

"I... I'm just going to get my things..." I bit my lower lip, not looking back.

He softly chuckled. "Make sure, I'll wait at the car or I'll get you."

Bwisit.

I cornered myself with him. I just did that, right?

Yeah.

You're being weird and stupid now, Zaseya.