𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘵-𝘋𝘰𝘶𝘹

Chapter 9 - Valentine's Day

Wake up. Get changed. Get breakfast. Brush my teeth. Go to the bus stop. Talk with Daisy. Get ignored. The normal, monotonous Valentine's Day. I know what to expect, so I steel myself and put on a brave face.

The alarm sounds, jerking me awake, and the sinking feeling arrives. Expectant and excited to envelope me in boredom and false smiles. I go to the kitchen, noticing only Mum is there. 'Jack has left already,' She quotes, and I don't say or do anything in reply. 'He had to go see this 'Bo' girl.'

Jack has a girlfriend. Even my own brother will have someone to love and hold and hug and kiss and hold hands with and touch and-- 'Nice.'

'Yes, it is, isn't it?' Mum whispers, flicking through the pages of a book she's been reading for almost 4 months now. 'I hope I get to meet her some time.'

Hard pass. 

I wonder who this 'Bo' girl is. She sounds pretty, and if I know Jack, she will be pretty. While I walk down to the bus stop, I watch as cars roll past, breaking the pattern of red bricks and square flats. Rubbish-filled front lawns. Over-flowing bins. People walking to work. A couple shouting in the window. A lonely, elderly woman. I try to ignore the constant burning of thought spinning around in my mind, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. 

'BOO!' Daisy yells, and I shudder, feeling my eyes blur and dry. I'm so tired already and it's only a Tuesday. She jiggling like an excitable child and clutches my arm. 'I'm so excited! I hope I get a reply.'

You will. 'I hope you do too,' I smile, and the bus trundles around the corner. We pay. We get on. We're going to school. Hannah and Daisy talk excitedly whilst I close my eyes and rest. This conversation seems boring. As we arrive at 'The Stop', their conversation turns to a hush and they watch Luke sit down with his friends.

Who are next to us.

Daisy finds herself squashed into a corner with Hannah on one side and Luke on the other. Her jaw clenches and she stops talking altogether. One way to make an already awkward journey even worse. I mutter, 'Can we get off a stop early?'

'Sure,' They both reply, and it only takes a handful of minutes to get to the stop. Unfortunately, the Luke Group and us stand up in sync. Us three sit back down and they stumble off, pushing and shoving. Noise levels return to a head-ache inducing level. I know I probably have a mild sickness and Mum never helps. 

'Did you get your P.E. kit out of your locker yesterday?' Hannah asks. Crap.

'No, but I'll get it today,' I comment. 

xxx

The walk to the lockers feels like it takes forever. The drone of dull teenage voices fill my ears and I wonder why everyone finds today so exhilarating. I always feel they should think it's just another normal day; we have the same lessons we do every Tuesday with the same people we see everyday with the same teachers who teach us everyday. My locker door swings open. Something falls the floor. 

'JoJo!' Hannah exclaims.

'It's a letter!' Daisy squeals.

I freeze. The world drops and I'm in the spotlight. I feel like I'm naked and everyone is watching me. I feel like I'm an animal in a circus. I feel like someone just shot me in the head and everyone is looking at me in horror. Dumbly, I stare at the letter and don't move. 

'Are you going to pick it up?' Hannah urges impatiently. Am I? She scoops it up and shoves it into my hands. 'Open!'

I oblidge, not entirely sure of myself. This feels like a prank. Why should I suddenly get a card on the 15th Valentine's Day of my life? Why should I suddenly get a card on the 4th year in secondary school? I go out of my way to make sure no one even notices me.