Only You ✓

96

      Tae never hated his mom like Jimin assumed him to. He loves her so much more than he showed. But what he was more scared of than anything was getting caught up with her, he was scared of the unconditional love she has for his father, who is never worthy of the love she has for him.

     He was scared of the woman who loved her own abuser and he was scared of getting influenced by her. And that's the reason he kept his distance and why he tried to run away from her. 

     But with Jimin leaving him behind she was the only companion he had for that one year before she too left him alone to deal with the cruel world he was born into.

     Tae has not yet accepted his mom's death completely. And he didn't have any idea about why she killed herself when she didn't gave him any kind of signs of being suicidal. He doesn't know what triggered her to do it. And he was desperate to know it.

     The only thing he knew was that when he returned home on a cold December night after visiting his dad in his company, he was welcomed by his mom's cold body on the floor of her room. 

    He kept on begging her not to leave him alone. But there was no response from her because she was already long gone to answer her son.

    He was confused and scared not knowing what had happened for her to do this even though he could easily conclude it was because of his dad. 

     But he had seriously no idea that she was nearing her breaking point which was sure to come but he didn't know she would give up like this without even giving him a chance to persuade her not to do that.

    She couldn't just agree with him and move out of that wretched place but she could just leave him all alone in the world. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even show his sorrows in front of his dad, scared of getting mocked by him.

    But he didn't want to just give up like her. He thought that maybe one day he will get the answers for the question that he kept on asking her on the way to the hospital which never was replied. 

     And getting to know the reason for her sudden demise was one thing that kept on pushing him to live despite his temptation to end it all. But he was scared to commit suicide and this fear was also making him hating himself.

   A part of him has still been salty and hating her for leaving him like that and he told himself that he's  not yet ready to forgive her.

     But the other half yearns for her because he has no one else to open up to. That's why he is still talking to her, when the night comes and she comes to see him again in the sky.

    Whenever he feels anger towards her he goes to the rooftop. Because there where he feels her presence he couldn't stay upset with her.

All together he is a mess..

    When he's under the starry night sky, he can't hate her..

    Tae likes to spend his time outside. No it's nothing like this. It's just him forcing himself to stay outside because within the four walls when he thinks of her he feels suffocated and he would start blaming her for leaving him alone.

    But outside, when he could stare at the sky where she is as a star watching over him, where he could still see her loving smile and gentle caresses he could never hate her and he doesn't want to hate the woman he once loved so much and that's the reason why he chose to stay outside when it's too much to handle.