Solo

fifteen

It was nearly eclipse, and Lo'ak and I were practicing his breathing skills, I would throw shells for him and he would dive to get them.
I laughed as I watched him gasp for air as he came up.
"I got it!" He said happily and I grabbed the shell from his hand, squealing excitedly.
"I got it Laya!" He laughed.
"You did it!" I smiled at him and we grinned at each other for a few seconds before I looked away.
"Have you been going to Payakan?" I asked him as we stayed afloat in the water.
He nodded and smiled again. "He's amazing."
"I will come with you another time."
"He'd love that." He stopped for a few seconds, letting us both catch our breath.
"Could he not come back?" He asked and I shook my head.
"He is outcast. It means he cannot come back." I explained.
"That's bullshit!" Lo'ak hissed and I reached my hand forward, almost touching his locks when Aonung swam past me, with a girl on the back, they were both calling out cheers.
"What's going on?" Lo'ak asked me as Tsierya jumped down from the rock, aswell as the others. I called for my ilu, not responding to Lo'ak as I swam onto Zia, gesturing for Lo'ak to get on.
We reached the sand and Tonwari leapt for his son, who dodged and hid himself behind his mother, who looked up at the sky, murmuring for help.
"What's going on?" Lo'ak asked me again and I shrugged.
Murmurs surrounded Aonung and his father as the village formed around the dock.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" His father beckoned.
"It is done father."
I circled the girl, she was from the village, Sela. She had grown a tattoo on her arm, almost identical to the one Aonung had.
I took a step back and she looked down.
"We are mated before Eywa. It is done." Aonung gulped, standing clear of his mother now, facing his father with a determined expression.
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?" His father roared, he grabbed my arm and pushed me in front of Aonung.
"You have betrayed Laya. You have bought her to shame." Ronal announced, the murmurs started to get louder and I looked for Neytiri, she was stood in front of me, she gave me a smile and a nod, and that was all I needed to feel reassured that everything was going to be okay.
Until-
"I hope you know what you have done boy." Tonowari blew against his hands.
"You mated with this woman?" I asked Aonung and his eyes turned from his father to me.
"I remembered what you said Laya, about how I was me. I needed to find myself. I found it." He looked at me and took my hands in his.
I tilted my head, understanding him but also feeling a betrayed, I had been loyal this entire time and the fact was he hasn't, it was staring me in the face.
"Father..." Aonung turned to his father.
"You cannot be expectant of me to be you. I cannot be."
Tonowari let out a hiss at his son, before Ronal placed her hand on his shoulder.
"He is right, Tonowari." She sighed.
Tonowari spun on his heel and left the crowd.
"He will get over it." I told Aonung.
Tsierya circled Sela before standing beside me, her tail swaying curiously.
The girl kept her head down, occasionally looking at Aonung.
"You have lost the perfect one brother. But I will not blame you." Tsierya's fingers intertwined with mine.
Tonowari returned, his hand placed itself on my shoulder before he spoke to his people.
"My people, please understand and respect my son's decision. As-well as Laya, if she chooses to continue her path as Tsahìk and find a mate, or if she does not." Tonowari's voice cracked, he turned around again and left, Ronal placed a hand on my chin.
"You are strong my child." She kissed my head before going over to her son.
I stood there, I had felt misplaced, lost, alone, solo, unwanted.
I took in everything around me and saw many people look at me in pity.
"Go and get her bro, she looks afraid." I heard before the sound of footsteps in the sand, a hand reached down to grab mine and I looked up.
Lo'ak.
I went to speak but had nothing to say.
"Walk with me?" He asked cautiously and I nodded as he took my hand in his.

"Are you okay?" Lo'ak asked me as we sat down on a rock.
"I do not know." I told him truthfully.
"Did you know Aonung was going to do that?"
"No."
"Okay... Are you sad?"
"No."
"I'm going to need more than that." He nudged me playfully.
"I am just... wondering why i am not wanted." I sighed.
"Who told you you're not wanted?" Lo'ak questioned and my breathing hitched as I looked at him.
"Nobody-"
"Exactly. You're wanted. Believe me." His eyes looked into mine and I tried to regulate my breathing.
" I want you."