Expectations [양정원/이희승]

《chapter 9》

Jungwon was breathing heavily, his shirt sticking to his body and his bangs sweeping across his forehead in every direction, as he repeated the same choreo over and over again.

He had needed to leave the dorm and get some space. Sitting around the kitchen or lounging in their living room just felt odd, when everyone was either taking care of Sunoo, who was slowly getting over the last waves of his heat, or running around to get bottles of water and towels for Niki, whose rut had been keeping eveyone on their toes.

The first one was always unpredictable. Just like Sunoo, he needed to be alone at times, relieve himself of his wolf's urges or sleep off his headache, but most of the time even then, all of his hyungs were tending to them behind the scenes.

Washing sheets, cooking food, getting Sunoo Ice cream because the boy swore it cooled his heats.

Jungwon knew that was a lie.

Nothing he could eat or wear or do could 'cool' a heat down.

But he would never expose the boy's secret. It felt like an unspoken Omega code that you never get in the way of their pampering.

Nothing but one thing could relieve his heat - and Jungwon didn't ever want to think about his bandmate doing that one thing with his other bandmates. Especially Heeseung.

Jungwon shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts and the ugly stinging in his chest. This was exactly why he had to leave. He had to get everything out of his system.

So Jungwon arrived at the company as soon as the clock deemed it socially acceptable and booked his favourite training room to cool off.

One of their managers had seen him on his way, which had let to an hour long conversation about their scheduels and the changes that needed to be made to accomadate for the surprising cycles.

Which in turn, came with more concerned glances and questions about Jungwon himself, and he hated how quickly he was starting to dislike having to deal with his company and everything being an idol entailed.

What he fought so hard for felt like a burden now.

His coping mechanism, his members, were a whole other source of distress for him lately.
And Jungwon wished he could go back to the days when dancing didn't feel like a chore and living didn't feel like lying. When his members meant comfort, not concern.

The beginning of the song rang through the speakers once more, and Jungwon kept going, chasing for that feeling he yearned for.

When he closed his eyes, it worked. When he didn't watch himself, his soft cheeks, and recently widening hips in the mirror, he could pretend that nothing had changed.

And really, when he had laid in bed one night after he had first presented, he thought that nothing actually had changed.

If he was an omega now, then he had always been one. He really hadn't changed. He was just made aware of his real self. But that thought had only comforted him very shortly because reality still felt so much different.

As he moved through the song, he felt free.

Until his phone, which was connected to the speakers, gave off a loud 'pin' noise. He tried to ignore it, but when two more followed, his responsible nature urged him to check the source of disturbance. What if someone needed him?

Two messages from Jake asked him where he was and that he should come home soon.

One was from Sunoo.

It's over.

A cute emoji decorated the simple sentence, and Jungwon scrambled to get his belongings and rush through the door to search for someone to take him back to the dorm, his worries suddenly forgotten.