My life in a way was saved by fighting. I FUOKIN love fighting, that is basically my motivation to keep living. Everyday from off school, I didn't give a fuk about homeworks nah I ain't got a lot of time for tht shii. I decide whatever the fuk I wanted to do, so everyday off from school went home and just hit the gym got hit bags eat chicken breast daily. It was my life that was all I had and that's the only thing keepin me alive. Forever I will thank that sport, savin me from suicide thoughts the thoughts of not being good enough the thoughts of just hatin everybody in the world and humans in general, cuz not a single men was actually relating to me. It was a cruel world and I had to experience it myself becoz my familly wouldn't tell me shit and I had to find things myself. Cutting all contacts from the world was a real challenge, comin to school as an outcast. All eyes were always on me not in a good way, I was the man gettin pushed around. And yea u might ask wtf is u doin? I'm a world, Asia pacific champion why am i not fightin back. Well to answer that question is simple. I was tired. Tired of life, tired of just fightin for myself and the eyes of all these people I would always be the bad guy. Not at my home, not at school, not anywhere. Classmates, teachers, principals, parents and any fukin body.
But it would be one sided to say that. I actually do got a couple of people who were there for me and I am forever grateful for them as I will always love them to death. My sister my brother my mother from another mothers. They took care of me when I really needed it. Matter of fact if it wasn't for them God knows where TF I would end up. I spend more time with them than my own familly. U think I'm playin? I woke up went to school, spend half of my day there once I'm done with school I don even go home with my mom or dad nah, my brother does, but I ain't i went home with grab or u can call it uber. to where? To my own house just to link up with my brother went to the gym for 2 hours once Im done with that it would be either 5 or 5 30. so then now u think where I'd go, go home? Fuk nah, I went to the club, yea u heard me rite "club". Sport club, I went there to see my mom from another mother and my "sensei", to what? To do some more. I went for another 2 hours of intense work out. And U might think I'm jokin, Nah Nah, Nah. I'm dead ass serious. I went for pullups, leg raises, squat jumps, dips, another leg raise, planks, and some more jumping workouts and this shit would go on for half an hour not to mention those are all done in a cycle. So basically "hit". That's done we went on playing ropes, yea u've seen enough rocky movie to know what TF I'm talkin bout. Yeaaaaa, now we hit the bags. after all that shiii done, man, we eat. and by the timeiim done shits prolly 8. And I would be eatin on the corridor with my hands shaking visions blurry heads spinning can't wait to go to sleep. So once Im done with all that I go home take a shower my brothers sleepin already, I just went home sweaty smelly, showering and just wanderin how much more can I take breakin down in the toilet, brush my teeth, Fuk the homeworks went to sleep.
By this time It's prolly 10. just to wake up again 5 45, 6. Repeat all day. Fridays were the best day "not". This particular day would be my rest day, meanin I ain't hittin the gym ain't got to worry what I'm eatin. But on this day I feel particulary Lonely AS FUK. So these are the day where I usually spend time "finishin homeworks" or whatever Tf I'm behind. Long story short I failed school. Devastated, suicidal, given up on almost life, Like where tf am i goin with life " God u gotta do something with me, I dono where in the world Ur takin me but these times are hard and I need u to strengthen me I'm scared, alone, hated But fuk it I'm with u, I want u to guide me." All I knew in this life is how to throw hands perfectin this craft of mine given by the Lord.
TBC........
