A Stars End//Tsukasa Angst

Chapter 3★

sorry i kind of fucking died guys

Rui was beyond pissed off

"Rui-" Nene tried talking to him

"No, I meant what I said. I don't care if they don't let us perform there anymore. There's plenty of other places." he says

Nene sighs

Tsukasa was in his room, he seemed to be there a lot lately.

He was laying on his bed, he didn't even have the motivation to get up that day. He'd forgotten about their show today

He didn't care anymore. What was the point? If all he was gonna get out of it was being made fun of.

He used to enjoy the shows they all put on he really did. But people ruined it for him

Now it felt more like a chore than anything. Now he dreaded going on stage. Now he was worried about what they would be saying about him online. He was worried about whether the show would actually be better without him. He was worried about how much better it would be without him.

He rolled over in his bed. That cloudy feeling was there again. It was almost like it was physically paining him at this point. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't breathe. He felt as if he was trapped within this endless loop of thinking. His chest hurt. It was like there was water in it. It was dense.

He sat up hoping to be able to breathe clearly. It didn't work. It was like he was gasping for air at this point. He was shaking. He couldn't see. He didn't even realize he was crying. It was horrible. This feeling, he hated it. He could hear every little sound in his house but it was drowned out. He put his hands to his ears.

He began sobbing. Why. Why him? Of all people? He couldn't help but think about this often. Why him. Why did they always have to make fun of him? Ever since he was little. He was always get made fun of for the same things. All because he loved what he was doing? Because he was loud? Because he was too passionate? Because he was annoying? Because he couldn't help the way he is? He hated himself for these things. He hated himself so much it was horrible.

Everyday was becoming a struggle for him. He couldn't do this anymore.

It took him a while to calm down. He hadnt even realized that Saki had entered the room and was sitting beside him hugging him with Rui on the phone.

He was exhausted from all the crying.

"Tsukasa..." Saki said softly

Tsukasa was out of it. He looked over at her and almost looked scared.

"Tsukasa it's ok it's me, Saki" she said softly "and Rui's on the phone here" she hands Tsukasa the phone

Tsukasa didn't say anything

Saki hugged Tsukasa again

"Tsukasa? What happened dear?" Rui asked over the phone

Again, nothing came out of his mouth

"Tsukasa?" he tried once again

"... " what was he even supposed to say?

There was no excuse

"I-" Tsukasa started. Then stopped again. "I don't know. I just- I couldn't breathe. And I couldn't see it was terrible Rui." he began crying again. He hated being like this in front of people but he couldnt do anything at this point

"Tsukasa it's ok don't cry" Saki says

Tsukasa couldn't see it, but Rui was frowning on the other side of the phone. He couldnt stand hearing him like this.

His bright star that always shined now matter what was now dull and broken. (Booo corny lame boo tomato tomato)

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Short chapter today

Tsukasa breakdown chapter 🤯🤯🤯🤯