𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

14 | Freedom, Darling

"You're in a good mood" I turn my head to Devany who has a sly smirk. "Is it flower boy?"

"Flower boy?" Felix walks up to the counter "Whose that?" He looks at me curiously.

"The one that left Jisung flowers," Dev says, her shoulder bumping mine in a teasing way "Did he admit to bringing them?"

I look to Felix and he immediately catches on that this 'flower boy' was Jisung. I clear my throat and shake my head "No" I said, walking away and to the back.

"Boy's are lame, that's why I don't get involved with them"

"Are you lesbian?" Felix asks.

"No," She says and I look at them and she furrows her brows "Wait—maybe I am into girls"

I chuckle and shake my head "Stop asking her these questions, Felix"

"What? She isn't a little girl"

Devany crosses her arms and nods "What he said. Plus it should be something I should think about, you guys are gay shouldn't y'all be supportive?"

Felix nudges her "Don't call us gay"

She rolls her eyes "I meant bottoms"

Felix laughs loudly, not disagreeing "Who said I was a bottom?" I said.

"Umm— the flower shop kinda called you out" She shrugs "And you don't give off top vibes, sorry bud"

-

I open the door to see Jisung who had a small smile on his face. I let out a small sigh but still returned the smile and let him in, still this awkward—or whatever this was that surrounded us was there and it felt like I was suffocating.

"How was your day?" He asks as we both walk to the couch and sit down. The tv helped the apartment to be less quiet as the silence around us got loud at times.

I face him. I shrug "It was good"

He hums, making me swallow harshly and look away. "How was your day?" I ask, trying to fill this awkwardness and hoping it would disappear.

"Fine"

I nod and lick my lips "Fine" I repeat his words in a mumble.

"What was that?" He asks I look at him and he looked at me curiously. Trying to dissect my words.

I stand up and his eyes follow me "I don't want to talk anymore" I straddle his waist and his eyes go to my lips for a second too short before he meets my gaze again.

"What do you want to do then, Darling?"

I put my hands on either side of his neck, running them to the back of his neck as I lean into his ear. "I want you to kiss me" I spoke, feeling my eyes well up in fear as I pull away and look him in the eyes "Please"

He didn't hesitate to pull me into a kiss. It always felt right. When all didn't feel right between us, this is what reminded me that I was overthinking it.

It's what I did. I used myself, it became a habit that I picked up along the way of our relationship—even before when it was still considered just a friendship.

I deepened the kiss, needing to be satisfied. Opening my mouth to let him roam my mouth and let out a small whine. He grabs my waist and lays me down on the couch, the feeling of him on top of me again never felt more right but I still needed more. I needed to feel reassured.

He breaks the kiss, letting me breathe but I didn't want to breathe. His lips kiss my cheek, going down to my neck as my fingers run through his hair. "I missed you" I whisper as his warm hands run up my shirt. "Say you missed me" My legs wrap around his waist "Say it"

He pulls away and looks me in the eyes "You know I missed you, Darling"

My hands go to his jeans and he pulls away fully this time, sitting up and making me do the same. He clears his throat "We shouldn't—"

Reassured? Not so much. I wanted to be reassured that he still wanted me but he continued to pull me away. I hated this part of me. The part when I didn't get told it would be okay so I needed to be physically told that it would be okay.

I sit up fully and look away from him. Feeling all my teenage insecurities rush back to me. "It's not—"

"I get it" I chuckle bitterly and nod, still not looking at him as my vision blurs "Trust me, I get it"

"Look at me, Darling" I didn't give in as I stared at the carpet "I didn't come here to sleep with you Minho" He says a bit more harshly and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt but it did. Everything about being around him hurt me and I didn't know why.

I look at him now "Then why did you come?" I ask "It wasn't to talk because you barely knew how to keep a conversation" He looked down and sigh, "Why did you show up here?" I ask.

He runs his face harshly "I don't fucking know" He looks at me "I—My head is a fucking mess Minho and maybe I came here in hopes that you would help me out"

My eyebrows pushed together "Help you out?" He nods and it only pissed me off more "And tell me, what were you going through when you played dead" I leaned to him as I asked.

He seemed to get just as irritated with my question "You don't know what I went through Minho"

I laugh bitterly "Oh right, your new famous line" He rolls his eyes "But your right, I don't know but that's because you don't tell me" I spat and backed away "I won't be a coward Jisung, I'll tell you what I went through because you seem to only think about yourself right now" I started "I lost you. I really fucking thought I did and the hardest part wasn't even about me but it was watching each of your friends fall apart in different ways" Jisung looked away "I know you think that your decision was for everyone else's sake but Jisung, everyone just wanted you here. I wanted you here" Tears down rolling down my cheeks.

Jisung looks at me and shakes his head "I didn't think about y'all, I made the decision to protect y'all and in the sense I did think of y'all but I couldn't think of the effect afterwards. I couldn't or else I would of back down and I already made my mind up" He scoots to me "But I did" He whispers, wiping tears "I thought of y'all after everything and I hated myself for it but still, I would have done over and over again if that meant freedom"

I look down and his hands are still on my face as he brings his forehead to mine "Freedom, Darling. That's what we have now" He whispers and I look up.

"Please, talk to them" Jisung sighed and I put my hands on his that remand on my cheeks "They know you are alive and I promise all they want is to see you"

"It's easier said than done Minho," He says and I frown "Soon, yeah?" My chin wobbles and I nod slowly "Now stop crying my love" He kisses my lips softly before kissing my forehead.

I look at him and he looks at me. "Stay with me tonight?" I ask.

Jisung gives me a small smile and nods "Of course"

I am here clear this chapter up if you are still confused about this part of Minho's personality.

By 'teenage insecurities' Minho means how he gives his body up to Jisung when he needs reassurance because when they were younger Jisung hardly expressed his true feelings towards Minho so Minho used his body to get reassurance that Jisung wanted him or even threw himself at Jisung just to keep him in his life.

That's what Minho was doing in this chapter but now he can't get reassurance from words or physically.

I hope that cleared some stuff up haha. It's not like Minho is horny 24/7... I mean yeah but yk what I mean lmao.