𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

28 | Nothing New

*Now playing - I Could Be
A Florist by Olivia Dean*

The door chimes, taking my attention from the bouquet I was working on. A smiling Felix walks in and I squint at him "You look happy" I point out.

"I am happy" He confirms with a bigger smile "Happy you went to see your parent after so long"

"It's not that big of a deal" I brush it off and turn to continue to rearrange the flowers.

"I know but it's always good to step back from reality and take a break, even if that break was only a day"

I chuckle "If I stayed any longer, I'm afraid I would go insane"

Felix laughs "I understand", It just hit me that I've never heard Felix talk about his parents. I wasn't going to bring it up because I knew all too well about how that felt, something you have no interest in talking about getting brought up.

"So..." Felix starts and I knew he was trying to transition the conversation into another, the real reason he was all smiles today.

I stop and look at him, "What?"

He furrows his brows "What?" He repeats my words.

"You have something to say, just spit it out"

His eyes wander as he says "More like, ask you?"

I sigh, letting out a breathy chuckle "Just go on, tell me"

Felix gives me a small hopeful smile "You know I love throwing dinners, I love bringing us all together" He beats around the bush "I was hoping you would bless us with your presence"

"Bless you with my presence? How convincing" I grew bored and continued my task.

"Come on, it would be so off without you there" He begs and I purposefully ignore, "It will be strictly for us"

I gaze at him "Us?"

"Close friends," He says, "No side lovers, not talking about anyone specifically but..." Felix says sarcastically, making me laugh.

"Yeah, definitely no one specific"

He groans "Just stop by at least, you don't even have to stay for dinner. Just have a few drinks with us and you can leave"

I contemplate momentarily before saying "Okay, I'll be there. Send me the time"

Feliz squeals "Great"

I knew Felix wouldn't have given up, so declining was no use. I also figured I would have to face Jisung again and rather that be sooner rather than later. I hoped we could both get past whatever this was. I wanted peace with it all. I didn't want to live in the constant 'what if' anymore.

Seungmin mentioned that it would be good for us to be friends. I don't think I would ever be ready for that moment but I had to be. If we don't try at least that, I fear we will just be strangers again. Strangers with mutual friends.

-

I peered at Dev as she silently worked. I had noticed her low mood all day and for a couple of weeks now, worrying me.

I stop what I'm doing at look at the clock, sighing lightly before walking to her "Hey, let's go get lunch?"

Her brows push together "You hardly leave for lunch"

"I'm starving now"

She looks over my face before nodding "Sure"

We decided on something close by, a small restaurant. We ordered quickly and the whole time I watched as she spaced out for a moment before realizing and then would try to make conversation but I knew what she was doing. She kept talking so she wouldn't have time to think, I used to do the same when I was her age. Always talking and hardly thinking.

"What's going on? You've been in a low mood all day" I finally ask as she finishes us her food.

"Nothing new," She says, pushing her red hair behind her ears.

"You can tell me, you know I'll never mention it to anyone"

Devany thinks for a moment, "My mom has been drinking again, pissed that her new boyfriend left her"

"The recent boyfriend or did she get another one since the last time we talked?"

"Another" She chuckles and I smile that she finds this humorous. "He said she is too much work, which is true"

"So, she's drinking again?"

Dev nods "Well, she never stopped but it's getting bad again" She tells me "I meant to ask you this but do you think I can get more hours? Since he left the only income that we have is from me"

I was pissed, not at Dev or the fact she wants more hours--I can give her that if she wants it but at her mom. Devany is only seventeen and has to support her mom, that's fucked. I look at Devany like a little sister I never had, she had such a genuine heart and even after all the shit her mom has put her through, and still does. She never gave up on her.

I think I envied that part of her, she had what I didn't and that was seeing the good in everyone even after they fuck up. After everything, she is still with her mom and for me, a small affair led me far away from my family.

"I'll give you more hours," I told her "But promise me something"

She nods "Anything"

"Save some for yourself, if that's just saving up or simply buying what you want"

Dev chews at her lip before looking down, a small nod "Okay, I will"

"You promise?"

She looks up and jokingly says "Yes Dad"

Though it was a joke, it sent something through me. Sadness, a lot of it. It was the fact that one day I had hoped for a moment in my life where I would have kids, obviously not impossible but again it felt that way.

I had given up a lot for someone who I felt didn't give up enough. I just used to wish he would do something, say something to reassure me in the right way and he did, Jisung did but then it went back to the beginning and started all over again.

You just get tired of not seeing permanent change. Or no change again all.

*Now playing - I Could Be
A Florist by Olivia Dean*