The Unforgettables: The Gardener and His Wife

5. OH MY PAPA

Initially, I was a liability.  Grandpa had to keep stopping work to circle back to me.  He would say I missed something or had to redo something else.  I had never done any gardening before.  My older brothers, Tom and Ben, handled all the yard work when we had the house.  Grandpa had to teach me everything, including good work habits.  He would tell me "If you worked any slower you would be going in reverse".  The summer sun was hot and miserable at times.  I was thinking this wasn't what I signed up for.   Grandpa was doing all the trimming and cutting and making the mess and I had to clean everything up.  All I could think about was lunchtime.  The thought of a cold drink and Grandma's delicious sandwich sounded like Heaven to me.  

I once asked Grandpa why we didn't use power tools. I figured we could get the job done in half the time and be home sooner.  He just looked at me and laughed.  Grandpa was 71 years old and about 160 pounds. He had big, strong hands from many years of working.  His skin was dark from working in the sun since he was a child.   He worked for pennies to help feed his family when his dad left.  I was 15 years old and roughly 105 pounds.  My hands were small and thin.  Grandpa used to make fun of me and say I look like I played the piano.  My skin was light since I had never worked outside until that summer.  I wasn't strong either, mostly skin and bones.  Grandpa would grab my bicep with his big, strong hands and say "It's soft like a women's boob".  

The work was difficult and the days were hot and long.  I am sure I complained and whined to Grandpa quite a bit.  Through it all, he never stopped trying to teach me.  He would explain what to do and what I did wrong.  He would show me and help me if needed.  I was amazed how he had so much energy and strength for his age or any age.  He would tell me he keeps working because if he stops he will die.  He would then say "I will rest when I'm dead".

Working with Grandpa was difficult for many reasons.  Regardless, I pressed on and did my best.  He was never shy about giving me feedback, some good but mostly bad.  I was slow, and weak and thought I could find a faster way of working.  He always told me "lazy people work twice, so do it again."  That one always stuck with me.  I never gave up and he never gave up on me.  Together we developed a routine and an understanding— I needed lots of help in many ways.  

It took a while for me to grow on Grandpa.  I can't say for sure when that was but possibly when the summer of 1993 ended.  Grandpa knew I struggled and the work was not easy for me.  He seemed surprised and happy when I asked if he could use my help on Saturdays.  I loved going to Grandma and Grandpa's house every week.  It became a part of what I did.  I loved spending time after work with Grandma and hearing her stories.  It was an easy decision to make.  

When the summer of 1993 came to an end, I went back to school shopping.  I saved my money from working with Grandpa all summer.  On my last bus ride home from Grandma and Grandpa's, I stopped at the old Whittwood Mall in Whittier and bought myself new shirts, shorts, pants, a jacket, and some new Nike shoes.  I had never had a new wardrobe in my life.  It felt good to have new things with the money I earned.  Grandpa and Grandma were very happy for me when I told them what I bought with the money I saved.  Most of my old clothes were too small or too big since they were handed down by my two older brothers.  I also got a new haircut from an actual barber.  I felt like a new person going back to school in the fall.  

Gangs and gang members were everywhere in La Habra in the early 1990s, including schools.  My older brothers were friends with a lot of them.  Sometimes when I was walking home from school, a car would pull up next to me.  Most would have been scared but I usually recognized their friends and they would offer me a ride home.  I always felt protected but never wanted to test that theory.  

Statistically speaking, I guess I was at high risk of joining a gang, dropping out of school, becoming a drug addict, and ending up in prison.  I never went looking for trouble because I knew exactly where that would end up.  When you are just over 100 pounds, you better know your place or else.  But trouble for me was never far away.  It was in my blood whether I liked it or not.  We have a family member who became a "Boss" in the world of organized crime.  That life was right there if I wanted to reach out and take it.  However, that life never interested me.  My group of friends were good guys from good families.  Many were really good students with bright college futures ahead of them.  Many had two parents, a nice home, and good incomes.  They had the life I could only dream of.