The Secrets She Kept

The Secrets She Kept - Chapter 12

Monday mornings always came around too quickly. After the confrontation with mum, the rest of the weekend was a blur. The details unfocused. All I could see with startling clarity was her tormented face as she ripped at her hair.

I did that.

Being home alone with only my thoughts was a punishment I deserved. Still, I found myself desperate to get into the office – to escape the torturous cycle if only for a little while.

It was barely seven am when I pulled up outside of the office. Yet, as I switched off the engine, I could already see a light on inside.

I frowned and hesitated. My fingers clenched around the steering wheel.  Why did there have to be someone in there already? The entire point of coming in early was to use the internet without interruption. And if I managed an hour of peace without looking into the face of my shame, then even better.

I breathed in through my nose before releasing it slowly. Then, with resignation, I popped open the door to the car. Fine drizzle attacked me as soon as I climbed free. The horrible drizzle that had a way of drenching you through in a matter of moments.

Rushing, I pulled leaned across and tugged my laptop bag before hurrying over to the office building. A shiver ran down my spine as I closed the door behind me and proceeded up the stairs to the main floor.

Eighties classics droned through the air as I entered the main office. Only a few lights had been switched on, my desk area still in darkness. I flicked on the overhead light before dumping my things on to my desk.

"It's just me."

There was a brief pause in typing and the occasional click of the mouse. "Okay," came the distracted reply.

I breathed a sigh of relief, allowing the tension to roll out of my shoulders. Despite the lights being on in Jacob's office, a part of me had thought that it would be someone else. Someone I really didn't want to face. Not yet at least. 

His chair creaked as he stood, his slow and measured steps approaching. Then, there he was, silhouetted in the doorway. His glasses were perched upon his head as usual, his kind eyes bright despite the early start.

"You're here early." He commented, leaning on the door frame.

"I woke up a bit earlier than normal. I was hoping to use the internet for a few personal things, if that's okay?"

"Of course it is." He said with a smile. After a moment, the smile dropped away. "Did you see your mum this weekend?"

I swallowed and nodded my head.

"How is she?"

I forced a smile. "No worse. No better."

He grunted. "Well, tell her we're all thinking of her."

I nodded again. It felt like the only thing I could do. My throat really didn't want to work just yet. At least, it really didn't want to talk about this.

We lapsed into silence as another eighties bop played in the background. I tried not to remember the time I had danced around the kitchen with my mum to the same song. There was no time for nostalgia. Not today.

"Well, I need to get this report done." Jacob said after a moment, pushing off of the frame. He started patting his pockets as per his usual routine.

My lips curled up. "They're on your head, Jacob." I reminded him, fondness for the older man warming my heart.

"Right, of course. What would I do without you?" He offered a warm smile as he pulled his glass down to rest upon his nose. "Just give me a shout if you need anything."