Pushing through the throng of after work commuters, I bit back the urge to cuss. My heart thundered in my chest and my clothes were starting to stick to the perspiration breaking out on my body.
Why am I always running late?
Despite working through lunch and leaving the office an hour early, somehow I was still rushing. It was like the universe was conspiring against me. At least, that's how it felt.
In the rush, I hadn't zipped up my bag as I left the office so, of course, everything had spilled across the floor on my way to the car. And then, to add insult to injury, when I had finally scraped the last of my belongings off of the tarmac, my fuel light lit up on the dashboard as I turned over the ignition.
Then, after fuelling up my car, I just had the poor misfortune to hit each and every red light on my way.
Bad luck? Or good luck?
Perhaps the universe knew how much I was dreading this conversation. Did it work that way? One of the younger staff members had tried to explain manifestation to me but a lot of it had gone over my head. A few more lessons were clearly required.
Glancing at my watch, I picked up my pace.
By the time I turned the final corner, I was almost sprinting. My feet pounded against the pavement, my bag slapping painfully against my hip with every step.
She's going to be so fucking mad at me.
Not that it took much to make my sister angry at me. It was like I had a special ability to wind her up without trying. Though, I would admit that, in the past, I had taken delight in angering her. I hurt so it was only fair that she hurt too.
But this was it. This was our new beginning.
And we're already starting on a bad note.
I slowed as I got close to the restaurant, my hand holding my side against the sharp pain. Leaning against the wall beside the entrance to the restaurant, my chest burned as I panted for breath. A group of women wandered past, their lively chatter washing over me in an intelligible blur.
A tear seeped from the corner of my eye before I could even register the strong perfume lingering in their wake. The scent hit hard and fast.
My breath stuttered in my chest. It was like I had been sucker punched, the sudden onslaught of emotion an overwhelming tide I had no power to resist. I had stupidly thought at one time that, once I found my equilibrium and returned to work that grief would stop having this power over me.
If only.
What a fool I had been. There was no hard and fast rule on dealing with this. There was no quick fix. There was no suddenly getting over it. Despite the months which had trickled past since we scattered Mum's ashes, the blows still came. Random things had a way of igniting a memory and throwing me right back to the start. The pain could be just as intense as it had been on the first day.
Taking a deep breath, I wiped at my damp cheeks.
"I'm such a bloody mess." I muttered to myself. Then, exhaling slowly, I shook my head, brushed imaginary dirt from my clothes before opening the door to the restaurant.
I stepped inside. The air conditioning blew down the back of my neck, cooling my warm clammy skin. Blinking in the sudden gloom, it took a moment to adjust to the lowly lit interior.
Plastering on a smile, I weaved through the tables towards a familiar head of blonde hair. Diane stood from the table as I approached. Her smile was tentative but it seeped away within seconds as she got a good look at my face.
YOU ARE READING
The Secrets She Kept
General FictionEvelyn and Rosie had always been close. They were not just mother and daughter; they were best friends. At least, they were until disease stole away the woman Evelyn had once been. After an incident forces Rosie's hand, she soon comes to realise the...
